Sometimes we forget that things can go wrong in a relationship. We forget that a relationship is the meshing of two human individuals who are capable of making mistakes. It's who we are, and that's bound to happen.
We've come to expect that a healthy relationship has to be rainbows and sunshine all the time. We get into the habit of thinking that one argument, one thing that bothers us will make or break the relationship—it shouldn't, and it doesn't have to. In fact, a relationship doesn't have to be happy constantly for it to be healthy.
There's a big difference when the relationship is unhealthy, and that difference is very visible. It's one-sided and toxic. It's controlling. Your actions become monitored and you can only do things with your partner's permission. You feel guilty to do things with anyone but them.
But here's a PSA: It's OK to argue in a relationship. It's OK to need some time alone. It's OK to be your own independent person outside of them. You shouldn't be afraid to talk to them about what's on your mind or how you're feeling. If it's a truly healthy relationship, everything will work out (and even if it doesn't, that doesn't mean it was unhealthy either).
Healthy relationships may not always be happy, but it's important to recognize the difference between that and unhappiness from a relationship that is mentally draining and possessive. It's not a healthy relationship if your partner attempts to trap you in the relationship using fear-based tactics. It also isn't healthy if only one person is putting in the effort.
In a healthy relationship, you aren't being suppressed, you aren't being controlled, you are two people able to communicate with each other empathetically in order to grow as individuals and as a couple. Sometimes, there are bumps in the road...and that's OK.
Just because you have one fight doesn't mean you should throw it all away. This type of "all or nothing" lazy mentality we've adapted when it comes to relationships needs to go. If you're planning long term, odds are your relationship won't be smooth sailing the entire time. We need to put in work and dedicate time and love to our relationships when the going gets tough.
Putting in the effort to have and maintain a healthy relationship isn't easy. It's a lot of learning, it's a lot of work, but it's worth it. Through open communication, honesty, trust, and love, you can have a healthy relationship. You deserve it.
