Healing takes time. It takes energy. It takes patience. Most of all, healing takes a lifetime. It is a lifetime process of unlearning what has made you unhappy. It is unlearning all of your internal demons today. It is learning how to let the little things make you happy again, and to find a way to wake up and be content with life and yourself. It's hard work, but it's not impossible.
On vacation, in California, to visit with my other side of the family. We spend time trying to catch up, which means learning about the things we've been through in the past year and some past stories of our parents or others that we didn't know. One major topic of conversation recently has been about moving froward from what life has given you. Learning how to truly recover from the past.
The first step to healing is that you do it for yourself. It doesn't matter what the reason is, so long as it's your own. You decide that happiness is your main goal. It must be your main goal. You cannot half ass happiness. You can to try and get there, on the days where it's rough, but you can't half ass the goal.
The second step is that the time varies from healing. You can have a friend that has finally found happiness and has become content with themselves, but that doesn't mean that your healing can be invaluable. You can spend your whole life trying to heal, but so long as you dedicated your life to happiness, you will die at least with some sense of fulfillment. Chances are, however, is that you won't die without being healed and content with your life.
The third step is to not let anyone negatively influence you. Get rid of toxic people. Of those that negatively influence your feelings. They're the biggest detriment to your healing for each stride you make, they're lurking in the corner waiting for a chance to bring you back down to their level. Do not play their games.
Working through toxic people and and negative feelings takes time. It's unlearning behaviors of self-doubt and self loathing. It's unlearning the bad traits people taught you. It takes time to realize what these behaviors are and that they exist, and it takes even more time to learn how to fight it and to learn how to be happy. It also takes many, many tries. What works for one person's happiness may put you in a bad place. It's about trying to figure out what's best for you, and not letting anyone take that from you. It's about sticking to your guns, working hard to get to your goal, taking rest if need be, and trying again the next day.
Healing is a long road, of curvy twists and turns, of roundabouts, u-turns, etc. It's not linear. It is not easy, but it can be done. Just remember, we are all, trying to work towards our own piece of happiness in life. So stick with yours, don't judge how others try to live life happily, and continue on. It can be done.
