The reality is, college is hard. I don’t know if it is just me, but I find myself feeling a constant pressure to do well and be “perfect.” This is a very familiar feeling to me as I felt the same thing in high school. Particularly in Junior and Senior year as college was right in front of sis a lot harder and so are the classes. But I have come to realize that one of the most important thing I learned so far in college is that one bad grade will NOT kill you.
Coming from someone who has severe testing anxiety, this is not an easy thing to admit, let alone write for the whole world to see. But it is true. Throughout high school there was a repeated pattern of me getting really nervous before big tests and second guessing all of my answers. I did this on unit tests, midterms, regents and finals. I realized the severity of this as the ACT came around. I would finish a section then go to check my answers and start to second sguess 99% of questions, even if I knew they were right for a fact. Despite all the encouragement I had from my parents and teachers to trust myself I just got nervous. I don’t know what made me do all of this, but I did, and if I am honest it probably ended up hurting me either in grades, in testing scores or my attitude. If I am being honest I might not have always been fun to be around when big tests were coming. Despite this, I still ended up at the University I wanted and I could not be happier.
When I came to college, I was determined not to let the same problem affect me. Turns out, this is easier said than done and it is hard to break old habits. My first midterm rolled around and I sat down to the test and my mind whipped blank. The weeks and hours of studying had completely gone out of my head. It was as if I had no idea what the test was even on and I began to have horrible flashbacks to high school. So, before I actually began taking the test I took a deep breath and tried to relax, and once I felt a bit more calm, I began to take the test. Needless to say, my mind was still pretty blank and I did not do as well as I know I could have. My professor reassured me that one test would not ruin my overall grade. So, when my next midterm rolled around I tried my best not to draw a blank and be nervous. And it worked. I kept telling myself that it is just one test and it really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. It definitely calmed me down, a lot, and I was much more confident walking out of the test.
If you are like me and let big exams get the best of you, remember it will be ok. One exam is one exam. It is not life or death, even if it may seem to be at the time. Yes, maybe your grade is a bit lower than it should have or could have been, but it will not change the course of your entire life, which is something that looking back now over the past 4-5 years of my life I now realize. So when it is time for that next big test take a deep breath, believe in yourself and the work you did to prepare and remember it will be ok.
