A few months ago I was told that I didn't love myself. I was told that I needed to practice more self love because I would never truly love someone else if I didn't love my self first. I was told all this by someone who I love and was very close too.
After the conversation I was in complete shock. To be told that I didn't love myself threw me off big time, and all I could think about was the words "love yourself" and "practice self love". When my shock finally wore off, I got mad; and not the type of mad you get when someone steals your leftovers. I got livid. I mean how dare you tell me that I don't love myself! Then to tell me I can't love anyone properly if I don't love my self first? No. Just no.
The conversation played in my head for days after. It was like it a broken record. I started to think maybe they're right, maybe I didn't really love myself like I thought I did? So I googled "self love" and you can guess what came up; ways to practice self love. I clicked and read every link it provided on the first page. Most of them just said forgive yourself, meditate, surround yourself with positive vibes and find your happy place.
I tried the suggestions, most of them I was already doing in the first place. But I did them. I took the negative people out of my life, I did things that I loved doing, I surrounded my self with people who made me want to be better and I even tried meditation (which I honesty l fell in love with). These things that I did to help me "love myself" didn't help me though. I found new things that I enjoyed doing, but overall I felt the same way I did before I started. But it wasn't necessarily a bad thing because I realized I loved myself from the beginning and no one can tell me that I don't because they are not me.
I love myself. I'm not self absorbed, but I do love myself. I have scars from the several surgeries that I've had in my lifetime and I love every single one of them. I have stretch marks on my body from me gaining weight from medications I had to take to stay alive and I love all of them. I worked hard to be here today. I love who I am and what I look like.
