Why Spring Break Actually Sucks
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Why Spring Break Actually Sucks

Sprang Break forever?

Why Spring Break Actually Sucks
Spring Break

Spring Break over the years, especially during the MTV years, has been associated with girls’ gone wild, loud music and crowded beaches. Young people from around the world pack their bags and flock down to Florida, Mexico or the Bahamas for a carefree getaway that involves “like, absolutely no stress” to the point that he or she “can’t even.” Just watch any TV show or movie that features a spring break and you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.

I personally have always hated spring break. It’s always been too short and I feel like it’s just there to compete with my beloved winter break. As I’ve gotten older, my reasons for hating spring break, or as James Franco in the critically acclaimed movie “Spring Breakers” calls it, “sprang break," has grown.

Living in Florida has brought me face-to-face with my nemesis, spring break. Between the months of February through April, Florida is chock-full o’ college students ready to get rowdy. For an introvert who hates the blistering sun and big festival-like crowds one might be able to see why I dislike spring break. As a guide, here are a few things you will not find me doing on “sprang break:"

1. Going to the beach

Once upon a time when I was young and naïve, I loved the beach. I liked going in the water and the perfect contrast of sand and ocean blue water was mesmerizing. However, one day as I was coming home from the beach with my family I realized something: I hate sand.

Sand shares a lot of the same qualities as glitter, which also agitates me. Sand is hopelessly impossible to get rid of and despite the “convenient” showers located by the beach; the sand doesn’t actually go away. No matter how many precautions you take, sand finds a way to creep inside your towel, shoes, bag, and bathing suit.

I also tend to get very bored at the beach. A stark contrast to my mom, whose favorite place in the world is the beach and can spend hours upon hours there. I can sometimes see the appeal of the beach and how it can be relaxing but then a screaming child interrupts my Zen and once again, I remember why I hate the beach.

What’s worse during spring break is all of those factors plus the addition of obnoxious underage kids drinking Bud Light while having their music play full volume through their portable speaker.

2. Oiling up and tanning

If you go to a drugstore, the sunscreen is always located next to the tanning oil. In my opinion, that’s the equivalent of putting condoms next to the pregnancy tests. I liken the placement of these items to one of those “choose your own adventure” situations. Over the years, I’ve been incredibly concerned with my skin. I’ve read too many articles in Seventeen and my mom’s Redbook to not be concerned with how much sun my face is getting. I don’t lather myself up in zinc or any of that yet, but I’m still very cautious about my sun intake. Also because I don’t want to have any wrinkles the time I’m 40.

There are a lot of factors to having great skin but you know what’s not one of them? The sun. Along those lines--pun intended, is tanning oil.

Lathering yourself up in oil is just gross. Essentially, you are making yourself into a human salad dressing. Nobody likes an oily face so why would you bake in the sun lathered with oil? Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about the bronzed goddess look but I much rather use a fake tanner to achieve that versus the alternative: skin cancer.

Instead of lying around at the beach and oiling myself up, you can instead catch me doing these things on spring break:

1. Running errands

Going grocery shopping during the middle of the week when it’s completely empty is like an aphrodisiac for me. There’s nothing more satisfying than going to the grocery store and only being able to hear the nice, uplifting grocery store playlist.

As mentioned earlier, I’m not one for big crowds. I love being able to just walk right up to the register and carrying my groceries to my front row parking spot because like I said, the store is empty.

Since I work during the week I never truly get to experience the empty stores. Like most people, I only have time to do errands on the weekend and the experience always differs than say a Monday morning trip to the grocery store.

2. Cooking elaborate meals

I love to cook and I’m actually a pretty good cook. Unfortunately, I don’t always have the time to “go all out” on meals. Even though I only cook for myself I tend to make extravagant soups or other meals that require a lot of ingredients and worse, a lot of time. Usually, during the week, I’m able to cook basic meals but in no way do I deem them Food Network worthy. They aren’t even worthy of going on my Snap story.

Spring break cooking? Food Network and Pinterest worthy.

I like being able to make myself a nice breakfast, lunch and dinner. Since I usually wake up so early, I don’t have time or energy to make myself huevos rancheros.

I might hate this “tease” of a break but at least I get the time to make huevos rancheros with homemade refried beans and salsa.

So, to however you spend your spring break: cheers. Whether it’s spent on a cruise with thousands of other college students or if it’s in a kitchen making a fancy breakfast for one, have fun.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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