Tinder And The Hookup Culture Have Completely Ruined Dating For Millennials

Tinder And The Hookup Culture Have Completely Ruined Dating For Millennials

When did meaningless sex become more important than committed relationships?
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When I began college, I thought that perhaps I should gain a boyfriend and finally stop being that friend that’s always single; the distant third wheel squeaking in the back for any attention my coupled friends would show me.

Yet, the boys I met were mainly from fraternities and we often would only hang out for a few incidental moments, with our time mostly filled with him talking about how extraordinary he was. Not asking to go on a date, but to merely hang out at his place or meet him at some social gathering, where he drank so much alcohol prior to seeing me that he could barely remember my name. Then despite any drinking impairment he may have had, he always immediately tried to get me alone with him, while his friends gave us sly glances and held up their beers in a congratulatory manner.

Each time this happened, I knew that the intention was not to get to know me personally but, instead, to have sex with me.

Quickly, I would try to make any dire excuse to evacuate the area, with the boy furiously looking at me since I had refused to be his new sexual object for the night. Then, in desperation to look “cool” in front of his male friends by aimlessly gathering women into his bedroom, he would make any manipulative false promise to have me remain by his side. Which usually involved blaming me for “misunderstanding” the situation or that his aura of sexual urgency was all “in my head,” as his charcoal eyes intensified on my dark lips and his hands couldn’t seem to find place their place away from legs.

Disheartened that fraternity boys were not offering me any form of commitment, my naïve self-thought that possibly I could try Tinder, this dating app where some of my high school friends had met their boyfriends. But I soon realized that Tinder wasn’t any better. All of the messages I received from men were about meeting alone, late at night in their bedroom or a yearning for an exchange of risqué messages, which I readily declined.

Now a year later, I am still extremely single.

It seems that no matter where I turn, the dating world seems to be gorged with boys who deeply desire nothing but sex. Obsessed with their image of appearing manly, they became terrified into not “catching feelings” and they fiercely refuse to gain any type of romantic connection with a female. Instead, relying on meaningless sex to satisfy their sexual urges.

With this hookup culture in place and empowered by free dating apps like Tinder, society seems to have destroyed traditional dating.

Now individuals impatiently judge if one is worthy to date or have sex with merely by their initial appearance. Dating apps are structured in a format to cater to the user, which in turn brings people to constantly regard their potential partners in a perspective of what he or she can do for them, while also serving as a symbol that there might always be someone more attractive or better than their current companion.

Thus, it seems as if one is best off if he or she isn't "tied down."

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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6 Important Must Knows For Dating Sassy And Sarcastic Girls

Brace yourselves boys, she's a tough one.
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Dating a girl with a big personality can be tricky. They are some of the most amazing girls but to keep them, one needs to understand them. Here are six important things you must be aware of before you give your heart to a sassy and sarcastic girl.

1. Stubborn

She is going to be the most stubborn creature you will ever meet. I say "creature" because she might actually scare you with how much she refuses to back down until you have full proof she is wrong. And if you can’t prove her wrong, just suck up your pride and let her be right or she’ll never quit. But just remember that she’s simply passionate about whatever it is and you should be proud of her for that.

2. Bluntness

She is going to be blunt. So be prepared to hear the truth. She isn’t going to care how mad you get, if you’re being rude, she won’t be afraid to put you in your place. If your choice of clothing isn’t matching, she’ll tell you. Whatever it is, she isn’t going to keep the truth from you. Sometimes it’s subtle, sometimes she’s just a little too straightforward.

3. Sensitivity

Be careful sometimes with your choice of words. Though she is blunt, she is also sensitive. Her sarcastic personality is sometimes just a defense mechanism because she fears opening up. She worries a lot and continues to ponder the things you say. Remind her she is loved.

4. Friends

She is going to have a lot more guy friends than she will have girl friends. Why? Because guys tend to find more humor in her sarcasm and don’t take it so personal, whereas other girls take it as she’s being serious and just rude. However, don’t be jealous because trust me, you’re 100 percent hers and those guy friends are just that — friends.

5. Insults

She’s not going to flirt with you by giggling and blushing and calling you cute. She’s going to call you an idiot and smack you across the shoulder or back because to her, that’s easier than being all giddy and speechless over how much she likes you. And even when she’s calling you names, which really is in all fun and games, she doesn’t mean it seriously, she’s actually just saying “I love you” in her own special language.

6. Shorty

If she’s short in addition to being sassy and sarcastic, you’re in for a big treat with her. She is not only going to be full of fast wit, but she is going to have so much spunk in her you won’t know what to do. She will be so feisty that she won’t be afraid of anything or anyone and you yourself won’t even know how to handle her. That’s what makes her special.

It takes a certain type of person to be able to give their heart to someone who can so easily break it with their strong headed personality. But a sarcastic and sassy girl is going to be the one girl who is going to love you with all that she has. Treat her right, and she’ll treat you right.

Cover Image Credit: Larisa Birta

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To The Friend I Rarely See Anymore

I wish you nothing but the best.

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When we graduated high school, we thought it was the end for us. The distance would ruin us and we wouldn't be able to call ourselves friends. Thankfully, you were my rock for the first year of school. You were the one I turned to when the adjustment was hard or when I needed someone to talk to and just listen. We never lost our connection for a whole year. We proved that nothing could pull us apart no matter how far the distance, no matter the different schedules. We were still best friends.

Another summer came and we only got stronger. We went on countless beach trips, late night hangouts, and Starbucks runs. I didn't even think it was possible to be this much closer to you than we already were. If we weren't together, we would Snapchat or text to never stop the conversation.

Now summer ended, we didn't think twice about losing our connection this time. We had a bond stronger than anyone could fathom. We once again went our separate ways and kept our texting and Snapchat habits.

But something changed.

It must've been the comfort level of sophomore year. It must've been all the new friends we got. It must have been the boys who entered our lives. We don't speak anymore. I haven't seen you since winter break. I haven't texted you since New Year's Eve. Our connection, one that was once thought to be indestructible, came crumbling down with sophomore year. I am not going to lie, sophomore year was the best of my life, but I knew you were missing the whole time. It wasn't the same without you.

I'm not upset you chose to focus your time and life on your new boyfriend. I am happy for you. I am not upset you spend more time with your school friends. I am happy for you. I am not upset you don't text me anymore and killed our streak. I know you're living a happy life. And I am too.

We may have gone our separate ways like we never imagined, but I am happy you are finally happy. Don't forget for one second that I will always be here for you. I will still always answer your text. I will still always be your shoulder to cry on even when no one else is there for you. I wish you nothing but the best, and I hope you're doing ok.

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