Tinder And The Hookup Culture Have Completely Ruined Dating For Millennials

Tinder And The Hookup Culture Have Completely Ruined Dating For Millennials

When did meaningless sex become more important than committed relationships?
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When I began college, I thought that perhaps I should gain a boyfriend and finally stop being that friend that’s always single; the distant third wheel squeaking in the back for any attention my coupled friends would show me.

Yet, the boys I met were mainly from fraternities and we often would only hang out for a few incidental moments, with our time mostly filled with him talking about how extraordinary he was. Not asking to go on a date, but to merely hang out at his place or meet him at some social gathering, where he drank so much alcohol prior to seeing me that he could barely remember my name. Then despite any drinking impairment he may have had, he always immediately tried to get me alone with him, while his friends gave us sly glances and held up their beers in a congratulatory manner.

Each time this happened, I knew that the intention was not to get to know me personally but, instead, to have sex with me.

Quickly, I would try to make any dire excuse to evacuate the area, with the boy furiously looking at me since I had refused to be his new sexual object for the night. Then, in desperation to look “cool” in front of his male friends by aimlessly gathering women into his bedroom, he would make any manipulative false promise to have me remain by his side. Which usually involved blaming me for “misunderstanding” the situation or that his aura of sexual urgency was all “in my head,” as his charcoal eyes intensified on my dark lips and his hands couldn’t seem to find place their place away from legs.

Disheartened that fraternity boys were not offering me any form of commitment, my naïve self-thought that possibly I could try Tinder, this dating app where some of my high school friends had met their boyfriends. But I soon realized that Tinder wasn’t any better. All of the messages I received from men were about meeting alone, late at night in their bedroom or a yearning for an exchange of risqué messages, which I readily declined.

Now a year later, I am still extremely single.

It seems that no matter where I turn, the dating world seems to be gorged with boys who deeply desire nothing but sex. Obsessed with their image of appearing manly, they became terrified into not “catching feelings” and they fiercely refuse to gain any type of romantic connection with a female. Instead, relying on meaningless sex to satisfy their sexual urges.

With this hookup culture in place and empowered by free dating apps like Tinder, society seems to have destroyed traditional dating.

Now individuals impatiently judge if one is worthy to date or have sex with merely by their initial appearance. Dating apps are structured in a format to cater to the user, which in turn brings people to constantly regard their potential partners in a perspective of what he or she can do for them, while also serving as a symbol that there might always be someone more attractive or better than their current companion.

Thus, it seems as if one is best off if he or she isn't "tied down."

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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I’d Much Rather Celebrate Valentine’s Day With My Single Girlfriends Than Any Guy

Bring on the pizza and ice cream because Valentine's Day is Girls Only this year.

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Being single during any time of the year is difficult, but it can be even harder with Valentine's Day quickly approaching. People either love it or love to hate it. It's a day filled with dramatic romantic gestures, carefully planned dates, and an abundance of roses and chocolates. Well, at least for some it is. The pressure to have a "Valentine" as well as have the perfect evening is so high that in my option it completely takes the fun out of the day. So this Valentine's Day, I won't be stressing over the perfect outfit, restaurant or date. Instead, I'll be deciding if I should have another slice of pizza while my girlfriends try to figure out which cheesy rom-com we should watch next.

I don't hate Valentine's Day, I actually think it's really romantic. I think it's great that some people find happiness in grand gestures and extravagant presents. When I feel about someone strongly enough, I'm sure I'd do the same, but as of right now I don't. I don't want to be someone valentine or worry about finding the perfect gift. I want to focus on myself and just have a fun night with my girls. We worry so much about what everyone has to say about the things we do that often times we don't make any decisions for ourselves. Be a little selfish and do only what you want. Order too much food, break out the wine, and enjoy a stress-free night with the people that mean the most to you.

You will find me on the couch with my sorority sisters most likely catching up on "The Bachelor" or ruining our diets with dollar store sweets. And yes, I know there's an unofficial holiday already called, "Galentine's Day" (which I will be celebrating too) that's for ladies celebrating ladies. Who says you can't do it two nights in a row? Who says that Valentine's Day has to be a day spent with a romantic partner?

This is me telling you to take this day to have some fun and ignore the pressures society (and ourselves) put on ourselves constantly. Surround yourself with the people who support you; the ones who stick around through it all and love you unconditionally. If you still want to stay in the festive mood, you can exchange valentines with your friends and treat each other with chocolate hearts. And if you want to celebrate Valentine's Day with your significant other, go ahead, I'm not stopping you.

So, no matter what Valentine's Day for you is, celebrate it however you want. Dress up to the nines and have the night of your life. Stay in, order takeout, and fall asleep watching a movie. Hang out with your girlfriends, guy friends, or both! It doesn't matter how you do Valentine's Day, but rather who you spend it with.

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