For the entirety of my life, I have been obsessed with the concept of the perfect relationship. I became a serial dater: I was so focused on finding and maintaining my idea of perfection that I didn't stay single longer than a month since I turned 13. I went from boy to boy to boy, leaping from relationship to relationship until I actually lost track of who I was. I grew up in relationships without any real experience being on my own. 

After my most recent stunt of serial dating, I decided that I would take a break from procuring and maintaining my idea of the perfect man. I realized that I had spent my whole life learning to succumb to the desires and wills of my partners in order to keep a relationship going instead of simply being... me. Who was I? 

I've been single for about a year now, and it's been quite the experience. Now, when I say that I've been single, I do not mean that I've been without men. Honey, this is college. Beautiful men are everywhere, and they're impossible to ignore. What I mean by "single" is the absence of a steady, monogamous relationship with another person. In my newfound realm of single-hood, I've discovered that I am an absolute, positively hopeless romantic. 

I've been searching for the perfect definition of "hopeless romantic" in order to define this addiction I suffer from, and the near-perfect definition can be found on Urban Dictionary. According to our handy dandy internet friend UD, hopeless romantics are: "This person is in love with love. They believe in fairy tales and love. They're not to be confused as stalkers or creepy because that's not what a hopeless romantic is. All hopeless romantics are idealists, the sentimental dreamers, the imaginative and the fanciful when you get to know them." 

Whelp, that's me. The person who's in love with love. It became an addiction. I was addicted to the butterflies, the thought of having a never-ending safety net, a person to kiss and fall asleep next to. Essentially, I was the ideal Nicholas Sparks fan. I looked for the perfect, drama-filled happily ever after. You can see how that would blow up in my face. 

I had my heart broken over and over and over again but I remained convinced that there was a reason. He wasn't the one. I wasn't perfect enough. We weren't perfect enough. 

Being single, I've learned a lot. I finally figured out who on earth I am, who I want to be, and where I'm going. But, alongside these healthy realizations, I've had some unhealthy ones too. I've learned some things about being a hopeless romantic...  and it's not all that romantic. 

We, as hopeless romantics, are always looking for a label. 

We are obsessed with the concept of defining the relationship. We are utterly and completely lost when we can't figure out what the other person is thinking, and it drives us insane. 

We want everything to end up like a movie. 

We look at those traditional fairytales and go: "I want that. I can get that" and then apply those fairytale-like qualities to every single man we happen to come across. This ends up being maliciously poisonous to each and every relationship we have because we build unrealistic expectations that no human could possibly live up to. 

We secretly love drama... but we also hate it. 

When in a relationship, we crave that special something that keeps us entertained, wanting more. We often call it a "spark." We secretly thrive on hard work and project-people; we love to have something to work towards. We also love excitement and thrill. It keeps us interested in the relationship. However, we also secretly hate it because it's exhausting. It tuckers us out. Loving this way is toxic and time consuming. 

We leap into things. 

Often assuming that it's "fate" or a budding romance, we leap into new things head-on because we are such emotional people. We love to jump and explore, give and feel. Sometimes, however, this can end up biting us in the butt. 

We often blame ourselves for failed relationships... or we blame the significant other. 

We chalk it up to us being too emotional, too arguable, too imperfect. We make everything our fault and it drives us absolutely nuts. Or, if it's not our fault, it's theirs. We need to have a reason for every failed relationship or we can't move on. Being a hopeless romantic, each failed relationship makes us feel like we're going to be cat-crazy spinsters living in a nunnery. As such, we need to justify why it ended or we go absolutely crazy. But, in trying to justify it, we end up going crazy anyways. 

We live in our head... and sometimes this makes our partners absolutely insane. 

We assume they know what we're thinking, and we get mad at them when they don't act on it. Even though there's no possible way they actually could know what we're thinking, we still assume that they do. We have so many thoughts constantly coursing through our heads at every second of every day that we sometimes forget that we actually need to say them ALOUD. We need to stop assuming things about our partners, and begin to journey outside of our heads. 

We're sometimes a bit much for some people. 

We're prone to wild gestures of affection, the variation of which really depends on the kind of hopeless romantic you are. This can be super intense for some people, and may make them uncomfortable. You wear your emotions on your sleeve, and most people don't. It's a blessing and a curse. 

While these all seem like horrible things that make a hopeless romantics' life a living hell, which it often does, it provides us with a wonderful chance to have world-wind romances. Our romances are one-of-a-kind, all-consuming and intense. We love with our whole being. Once, my dad summarized it perfectly: "We feel our way through life." 

I know sometimes it feels like you're alone in these affectionate tendencies, but you're not. There are many others like you, and we all suffer right there with you. Be happy that you have an amazing ability to love; even if you're addicted to it like me, at least it allows you to live a wonderful, loving life.