When you started mapping out your college career, you never thought that you would have a problem being happy. You thought that you would finally have all the happiness in the world because you were going to do this for you and you alone. You never knew that some mornings you wouldn't want to get out of bed or that some nights you’d feel lonelier than you ever did in your back bedroom at home. You unknowingly carried your depression with you; which is a possibility that never occurred to you. Remember how you never admitted to having “real friends” in high school? Well, you were partially right. They could’ve been the truest friends you ever had if you ever allowed them to be, but you didn’t. You are probably imagining meeting an abundance of new people that you will call your friends without the realization that it may never happen. Through your struggle to find happiness, you’ll find yourself finding other people with the same feelings that you have; these are your friends, even if you don't admit it.
Luckily, you’ll realize how much your parents actually mean to you, even if they have made mistakes. You’ll learn to forgive and forget the things that don’t matter. But you’ll never stop being hard on yourself. You’ll continue to tear yourself down through those late nights of studying and those disappointing test grades to eventually realize that you need fun, too. That's where these “friends” come in. If you don’t know what they are now, you will understand here, even if it does take you a while to realize it. Your life will become chaos for a while, but that’s OK because you have a strong support system behind you that believes in everything you do, although you don’t realize it until you get here. Amongst all of that chaos, you’ll find your true happiness; the happiness you never knew existed. Don't get me wrong, it won’t feel right at first, but it’s not supposed to. Good things don’t start out comfortably.
There are still many things you have to learn. You have to learn that you aren't as unlucky as you tell yourself that you are. You don't have “Emily-Luck.” You have real luck. You have a lot of people that love you but you don’t seem to allow yourself to believe it. That’s another thing you’ll learn. You’ll learn to let people love you and you’ll learn to love other people in ways you never knew existed.
My advice to you is to keep your chin up because things are going to be tough. You'll find yourself getting discouraged and depressed, but don't let that bring you down. If you continue on the path you're going on, (which you will because that's who you are) you're going to be fine. You're going to be happy, and when you get here, remember that this is what it feels like. That feeling you've been searching for for so long... it's called happiness.
