All of my life, I have made it a point to try and be a go-to person. I always wanted to be the friend that if someone needed something, they could feel comfortable enough to come to me. I wanted to be the family member that helped others with their problems. I wanted to be the guy that fixed things when they were messed up. I have always had the mindset that in order for me to do this, I had to put on a big, strong front; I couldn't let my emotions show, except to those closest to me. I had to make sure that regardless of what had happened, I would be the one to stand up and be tough. I would choke down any signs of need and just try to always be around for other people. All of the men I look(ed) up to were those people. No matter who came to them, they were there without a second thought: they were “The Guys”.

On top of always trying my hardest to help people and fix their problems, I still, to this day, deal with anxiety and worry. In my life, I have been someone who holds onto their mistakes. Just the other day, I caught myself thinking about something I said a year ago and I started feeling crummy for it. It wasn’t anything terrible, but I just felt bad for saying it. The thing is, it literally had no influence on my life--or anyone else’s. I just seem to hold on these things.

School is something else that causes me to be anxious. I constantly live with the mindset that I am not good enough or smart enough for what I want to do. What if I fail this test I have studied like crazy for? What if I don’t get into the grad-school I want? What If I let my parents down after all they have sacrificed for me? What if I can’t provide for my future wife the way she deserves? These are all questions that I repeatedly ask myself.

The lesson that took forever for me to learn--and try to always tell someone who has the same issues as me--is to not worry all of the time about any of the potential problems that they could face. If you worry your life away, then you will just be miserable all of the time. We only have a few things that we can control in this life. If you are always stressing out about the things you can’t, you will never be able to enjoy the life right in front of you. Also, don’t take everything that everyone has going on so personally: I know that you want to help people. We should be there for the people in our lives, just make sure that their problems don’t affect you on a personal level. If you have to deal with your problems along with everyone else’s problems, you will just be bogged down all of the time. Make sure you make time for yourself.

Life is all about the choices that we make. You will face things every single day that are completely out of your control. I can speak from experience and tell you that your overall happiness depends on your decision to be happy, nothing else. Don't worry and stress about the "could have beens" or the "what ifs". When things happen, just roll with it and work to improve your situation if you aren't happy where you are at.

C.Long