10 Reasons Why Going To The Gynecologist Is Actually The Worst

10 Reasons Why Going To The Gynecologist Is Actually The Worst

It's awkward but the doctor is only there to help you and make sure you are okay.

For women there is one doctor we just HATE to go see. We'd even rather go to the dentist over going to this doctor, so you know it must suck. Yeah, you guessed it...it's the gynecologist. There are several weird things that happen when you go to the gyno and some mildly painful things too. I just had my yearly visit and decided to see if anyone could relate to my experiences. Read on and see if these 10 reasons about why going to the gynecologist are true or not...

1. The waiting room.

You walk in and you feel guilty. I don't know why...like I haven't done anything but I just feel an awkward emotion rise up. Another thing is seeing the pregnant women and how they make faces or do weird things. Like man, what's going ON in there? Actually, never mind. Don't tell me, I don't want to know.

Then there is the looks at you, the silent questions...is she pregnant? She's so young. For some reason people forget that you have a yearly visit...or maybe I'm the only one who actually goes. But their stares make me start to wonder...am I pregnant?

2. The weighing and nurse station.

The nurses to me always feel like they are trying to be detectives and they ask really uncomfortable questions with tons of people around.

"DO YOU NEED ANY STD TESTING!?" She always seems like she is yelling. Like dude, shut UP.

"No, I don't need any STD testing, thank you very much."

"ARE YOU HAVING UNPROTECTED SEX? IF NOT, WHAT PROTECTION DO YOU USE!?"

I don't know if it's just me and being shy with my sexuality but damn, miss. PIPE DOWN!

3. Going to your room.

The walk of shame after that hot mess of a conversation. I also hate when you walk in and they are like...get naked, put the robe on with the opening to the front. Like shit lady, can we have a little small talk first before you try to get my clothes off? Maybe ask me out to dinner, idk.

4. Sitting ass naked waiting for your doctor.

Then you get yourself all naked (I always keep my socks on and that makes me feel rebellious...it's the little things, am I right?) and you sit there, freezing your little (in my case) or not so little boobies off. And every time you move, you make harsh crinkling noises and try to position the robe as modestly as possible, even though you know they just gonna ignore your flimsy robe and start grabbing at ya.

5. When she/he comes in and you have to explain your sexual history starting form last year.

The doctor is finally in and they ask you about your partner. Are you still with your last partner? How many partners have you had in the past year? Anything weird going in down there? If you answer any of these things that doesn't suit them, beware, because you about to get poked and prodded.

6. The boob exam.

The boob exam is one of my least favorite things. I have very sensitive nipples and HATE for them to be touched. Boobs are a hands-free zone, until the gynecologist needs to get all up in there (for good reasons but it still sucks). My doctor and I are actually pretty chill so we talk while she works, but the last appointment she said two really awkward things are poor times. The first was during my boob exam, when she was all up in there she goes, "You'll be fine to breastfeed. You'll be able to." Um...what? I didn't say anything about babies or breastfeeding so I was kinda shocked. I was like, "good to know. Thanks." Like WHAT do you say to that?

7. The dreaded pap smear.

Ugh. These are horrible. Absolute worst thing to ever happen. Luckily, I got to skip mine this year because I was fine last year, but oh my god...I mentioned about a yeast infection and shit went downhill fast. She was like, "Let's take a look." So I saddle up and put my feet in the stir-ups resigning myself to the fact that I'm about to be violated.

After a whole bunch of...prodding, let's call it, she does something inside me and I say, "ow." She goes, and I kid you not, "Oh, that's what it feels like for a man when his testicles are grabbed." Like oh my god. Why? Thank you because this wasn't awkward enough already.

8. Explaining an um...issue you have down there.

Whether it be a yeast infection (that happens to ALL women, don't feel ashamed) or an odd lump (ingrown hair) or something else causing you concern, it's always awkward because of how many stigma's there are around, well...your vagina.

9. Getting dressed after the exam.

Then after being all felt up, they tell you to get dressed. It's terrible to sit up to clean yourself off and do a sort of walk of shame. It's awkward but the doctor is only there to help you and make sure you are okay.

10. Knowing you have to do it again next year.

And after all of that, heading to the front desk to schedule another one is the worst kind of pain. You know you'll have to go through being poked, prodded, investigated, and questioned all over again.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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The Worst Part of the Past Year

I’m stronger because I had to be. I’m smarter because of my mistakes. I’m happier because I’ve overcome the sadness I have known

  

I am going to start out and be very open and honest with you. My past may come as a shock to some people because of how open I'm willing to be about it. I have no regrets of the roads I stumbled down because they were all lessons learned in the end. We all have times in our lives that we wish never happened, we want to bury it deep, deep down so that maybe we wont remember anymore. That's not how we are wired though, we are meant to open up about our wrongdoings and we are meant to learn from them, not pretend as if they didn't happen. That's why I'm sharing what I'm sharing with you today. The worst part of the past year was deciding to move to Canada and to finish my bachelors degree at Redeemer University College. 

I get asked by every single person "Why did you choose Redeemer University when your not even Canadian?". Well, simple; "there was a boy..."is all I ever say. Immediately they fill in the rest (but that's a whole different story for another time). In a nut shell we split and I stayed back in Florida and wasted my time with useless people that were filling me up with childish distraction. During that time I had completely lost sight of who I was. To me, I was literally going insane mentally and emotionally. I wasn't stable in the least and I could hardly hold a conversation with another person. I attached myself to someone I shouldn't have the last month before I left. The things this man introduced me to made it harder for me to let go. 

I did my first line of cocaine with a hundred dollar bill. I was terrified to even do this drug so before I even snorted it I was already shaking like a leaf. I wasn't comfortable and I thought that "this Sadie" was over with years ago. J (that's what we will call him) gave me another bump about every 15 minutes or so just to keep chasing the high. I HATED IT! I could feel my brain chemistry altering with every bump I would take. I had all this energy and no where to put it so my body would just tremble. J ended up giving me a Xanax to calm down. All I remember was the faint smell of gasoline and the soundtrack to 'Suicide Squad'. I woke up in J's bed and didn't remember any of the night. That was only the beginning, from there on out things got progressively worst. 



 

I knew this wasn't me and I knew I needed to get out of this place before things went any further. I headed to the airport and tried to get on the plane. Somehow the flight got messed up and I ended having to stay an extra day in Florida. I.FLIPPED. I made a huge scene at Tampa International Airport and yelled at a few of the ticket workers. I will remind you I was not myself at all at this point in time. 

My mom and dad had to carry me to the car and drove me home to fix my car (I got a flat the day prior). I was hysterically crying on the floor in the backseat on my mom's jeep. I was ripping out my hair and grabbing at my skin to try to break myself out of this meltdown, but I just couldn't. I couldn't calm down, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't stop screaming. It was as if I suppressed all the bad down and it all came spewing out like throw up. Eventually my parents finally sent me out and I headed to Canada to rewire my mind, heart and spirit. 

The first week was BRUTAL! I got to stay with one of my dearest friends (which was great) but during the time I was coming off of a binge. I hadn't had a natural sleep in about a month and I didn't have much of an appetite either. I felt so hypersensitive to everything. When I would try to sleep I could hear a constant buzzing for hours on end that drove me insane. I opened up to friends to seek help and I even went to go see a few counselors and they even referred me. Nothing was helping with my pain though. Not until I turned my life over to God. 

I think sometimes God doesn’t just take our pain away when we ask Him. I think we have to push through the pain, walk through the pain, heal through the pain and pray through the pain. instead of praying it away, maybe sometimes He just wants us to pray through it. healing doesn’t come easy and rebuilding doesn’t happen overnight. It took months to recover and become who I was again and I was only able to do it through Lord, our savior. I’ve had my heart broken, my hope destroyed, my mind distorted, my worth questioned, and my soul stained. In all of these, Jesus was able to restore. He was able to redeem. He was able to bring to life what was once dead. He was able to make all things new. He is still able. He never changes. If He has done it once, He will continue to do so. The only thing we must do is to allow Him to take control. Jesus reigns in us, He is now in charge, not us. He makes His kingdom alive in us no matter what we have been through, all things are made new when He comes to dwell in us. Allow Him to live in you and you will witness a beautiful come alive.

I’m stronger because I had to be. I’m smarter because of my mistakes. I’m happier because I’ve overcome the sadness I have known and I’m wiser because I’ve learned from my life.

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Pessimists Aren't Negative, They're Realistic

Pessimism amounts to accepting the inexplicable contingencies of life.

Is the glass half empty or half full?

I’m sure most of us have heard this question and know what each answer implies: half empty means your pessimistic; half full means your optimistic.

Okay, sure, let’s roll with this analogy. Let’s also assume it’s a glass of water, which will serve as metaphor for growth, life, or any other trite symbol associated with water. Now, half-full implies it could be fuller, but more importantly ignores the inevitable emptiness of the glass.

On the other hand, replying half-empty acknowledges that the glass isn’t getting any fuller but is in fact propelling towards that undesirable state of emptiness, or keeping align with our metaphor, the glass will have no water, symbolizing the end of life i.e. death (sorry for the half-ass figurative language, but you get the idea).

This may sound depressing to some, but it really doesn’t have to be; death is ineluctable and is a truth of life and is something we all have to accept. In a sense, acknowledging life ends in death is the most realistic way to view life. And this, to me, is a defining characteristic of pessimists: being realistic.

This doesn’t mean optimists can’t be realistic, but being optimistic about the future isn’t exactly being realistic, because, like I said, the only future guarantee is death.

For example, when optimistic people tell someone in distress things will get better is pure bullshit because they can’t possibly know that things will get better. It’s possible things will get better, and this is why pessimists in this situation would say something like “Things could get better, or they could get worse.”

Once again, this may sound depressing, but I think it’s important to acknowledge that no one can predict the future. I understand that the traditional idea of pessimism is having a negative view of the future, but I don’t think this applies to modern day pessimists. Rather, a pessimistic outlook on the future implies that anything could happen, even the worst.

Therefore, admitting your lack of knowledge of the future is a big part of being a pessimist, but I also think pessimism implies admitting a lack of knowledge of anything, or a better way of putting it, you don’t understand anything.

I know this sounds stupid, but let me try to explain. By not understanding, I mean not understanding how things came to be. For example, some religions (I think) believe that everything happens for a reason; by doing so, these people are attempting to explain or justify certain events, and usually, these events are harmful and can’t be expressed as positive unless there is some “greater good” involved.

Now, a pessimist is the exact opposite, for they believe everything happens for no reason at all; they don’t try to justify horrible events because they understand that’s part of life. And while they understand that’s part of life, they know it’s impossible to understand why bad things are part of life.

Therefore, if it’s impossible to understand why things happen, then it’s impossible to understand, well, anything. In a sense, pessimists adhere to the idea that the only thing you know is that you know nothing. However, if this is the case, how can one know they know nothing?

Well, you can’t, but this is something we must accept. People find comfort in understanding how the world works, it gives them a sense of purpose and control. But once you accept the idea that nothing makes sense and everything is pointless, life becomes one giant joke.

And this is why pessimists have a terribly dark sense of humor, because in an absurd world where the only guarantee in life is the end of life, where irrationality trumps reason, and where all action amounts to nothing, the only appropriate response is to laugh.

Cover Image Credit: unsplash

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