Multiracial and multicultural couples face some challenges that other couples may not have to confront. From the dirty looks to questions and comments like, "Why are you dating him?" or "You could do so much better," the underlying racism is always unnecessarily there. But, love is love, right?
Looking back, all of my meaningful, long-term relationships have been interracial. Yet, I wasn't in love with them because of their background, I just fell in love with them as human beings. It was a plus that we got to intermix our cultures and become more well-rounded individuals.
On top of that, I'm so proud that my parents and friends never once questioned someone I brought home because of their race, but, unfortunately, this isn't everyone's experience. Not everyone understands, appreciates, or accepts biracial or interracial couples and so there are weird looks, sighs of disgust, and simple ignorance. And this is where 2020 comes in.
This past year has been a whirlwind. Our unsettling political climate and the COVID-19 pandemic hit all factors of life, including love. Since, I too, am in a multiracial relationship and honestly was somewhat blind to it until recently, I was curious about how other couples have been affected by the pandemic and our society.
Here are their responses:
1. Paige, 28
How has being in an interracial relationship affected your partnership?
"There are different expectations for us from our families and the cultural differences that we have to learn. I also think some members of my family don't take us seriously or didn't in the past."
How has the pandemic affected your relationship?
"Some days have been tough, but overall it has helped our relationship because we spent more time together than we did before the pandemic."
2. Anonymous, 18
How has being in an interracial relationship affected your partnership?
"Being American born Chinese, a lot of people automatically assume that as a guy, I would not be able to get a white girlfriend. Asian men often get deemed as 'less than' and 'not a threat.' Asians are the model minority in western lenses. When I'm out with my girlfriend, we often get mistaken as friends instead of a couple if we aren't holding hands, and when we do, we attract a lot of stares. When her parents first met me, they weren't expecting me to be Asian, as both my first and last names are western (my grandfather was white on my father's side). They also assumed I was just another friend who had tagged along until my girlfriend explained I wasn't. They took their mistake in stride, but this happens a lot."
How has the pandemic affected your relationship?
"A lot of people have made the joke of 'catching corona' from me to my girlfriend. She admitted her parents were wary of her getting it from me, which shocked me, even though it probably shouldn't have. We've abided fairly strict social distancing rules, meeting up for dates six feet apart, and FaceTiming whenever we can. Even though we do these things, it can't compare to pre-pandemic hangouts in the slightest."
3. Izzy, 22
How has being in an interracial relationship affected your partnership?
"I don't speak the same language as his parents."
How has the pandemic affected your relationship?
"We barely see each other."4. Anonymous, 20
How has being in an interracial relationship affected your partnership?
"We have started talking about marriage and realized that both our parents would disapprove of our relationship."
How has the pandemic affected your relationship?
"We both have strict parents that limit our availability to communicate (facetime, talk on the phone) with each other."
5. Natalie, 19
How has being in an interracial relationship affected your partnership?
"I never thought my parents were racist in the slightest until I started dating someone of a different race. They slowly started to make disgusting comments until I couldn't take them anymore."
How has the pandemic affected your relationship?
"We haven't been able to see one another a lot, but we make an effort to talk every day."
6. Anonymous, 23
How has being in an interracial relationship affected your partnership?
"I think it has definitely impacted it. We still get some pushback because people believe (where I live) you can only marry someone of your own skin color. But like, love is love!"
How has the pandemic affected your relationship?
"We have been more creative for sure! FaceTime dates have become the norm!"
7. Ben, 23
How has being in an interracial relationship affected your partnership?
"This relationship definitely has more excitement to it because of the different cultures. I have learned so much about my partner's way of life and how it's different than my own. These things have impacted how we react to stuff and even communicate with one another."
How has the pandemic affected your relationship?
"We have been able to get to know one another on a deeper level. We have also had time to discuss how our differences make us stronger together."
8. Quincy, 68
How has being in an interracial relationship affected your partnership?
"It hadn't changed anything. I love him with my whole heart regardless of his ethnicity."
How has the pandemic affected your relationship?
"It's been tough, but we will make it through."
9. Anonymous, 21
How has being in an interracial relationship affected your partnership?
"Some family members aren't too keen on the idea, didn't really affect me though. His family is supportive and does not seem to care that I am white, he was adopted into a white family."
How has the pandemic affected your relationship?
"The pandemic has made it harder to travel being the long-distance aspect of the relationship. But honestly, the biggest part of this pandemic that affected everything was the new civil rights movement, being that biracial couples were already looked upon as the minority and maybe not seen as the right way. I have been trying to make sure he knows I will stand with him 100% but it's hard when states have travel bans."
10. Lexi, 20
How has being in an interracial relationship affected your partnership?
"Given the political climate right now, it has played a role heavily because I'm used to the stares, but now it's like degrading stares."
How has the pandemic affected your relationship?
"Communicating through phones is something I'm not a fan of, so I absolutely hate that corona is keeping us from seeing each other because texts and phone calls can be misconstrued, especially for me since I have to see people's faces to tell their emotions and how they feel."
11. Christina, 20
How has being in an interracial relationship affected your partnership?
"Judgment for sure, a lot of blanket statements."
How has the pandemic affected your relationship?
"He works full time while I have to stay home due to illness."
12. Abbey, 21
How has being in an interracial relationship affected your partnership?
"Most of his family only speaks Spanish so the only challenging part is being able to communicate with them. What's beneficial is I am introduced to and learning more about a different culture and I love it!"
How has the pandemic affected your relationship?
"At first it was hard, but as time has gone on we have gotten closer to each other and I feel like our relationship has grown significantly in a positive way!"
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