Gymnastics: the sport I was dedicated to for over 7 years. A sport that requires all of your body both physically and mentally. I spent so many hours in the gym that I lost count after a while. My teammates were my friends and my family, and without them I would have gone insane. Sometimes I still did. And yet...I kept going back. I kept pushing myself to stick the next skill, add the second twist, erase a mental block that threatened to eat me alive.

It's been nearly 5 years since I quit the sport. I won't go into any details as to why I quit, but long story short my mental blocks made it impossible for me to push forward. Simply, I lost the fire. Needless to say, I moved on, made friends outside of the sport, and started playing field hockey. But I still find myself thinking back on my gym days wondering "What if I had done this differently?" or "Where would I be now if I hadn't quit?" The list goes on and on and instead of letting my history for the grueling sport rest in peace, the longer I go without it, the more it drives me insane.

In an attempt to make peace with my past, I would like to give my thanks to the sport that pushed me through the majority of my teen years. For the record, there is no way I could do gymnastics again; my muscles aren't as strong, my flexibility is gone, etc.

Thank you for teaching me to stand up after I fall. In gymnastics, there are many falls. You split the beam, you fall off bars, you trip on floor, or you don't land your hardest pass. Sometimes the falls hurt bad, but all you can do is get up and shake it off. If I've learned anything from my time in gymnastics it's that getting up after a horrible fall can be the best thing for you. My coach used to say, "Rub some chalk on it, you'll be fine".

Thank you for teaching me to work as a team. One of the things I loved about gymnastics was that it was a team sport. At every meet and every practice you're cheering on your teammates. Not a team player? Gymnastics clearly isn't the sport for you.

Thank you for also teaching me to be a strong individual. Yes, gymnastics is a team sport. But it is very much an individual sport as well. You're trying to land that next skill for you. YOU are the one who hurts, but you are also the one who get to feel rewarded seeing your coaches cheer when you nail that routine. There are individual awards and team awards. I was definitely shown the best of both worlds.

Thank you for showing me that winning isn't everything. In my 7 years doing gymnastics, I went to a ton of competitions. Out of all of them, I only won the All-Around twice. Two times in seven years. Am I sad about that? Do I wish I had done better? Heck no! I look back on those moments standing at the top of the podium with extreme happiness. It certainly isn't easy to get there, so when you do, it feels amazing. That being said, I cannot even count the times I didn't even place. Thankfully, my parents and coaches would console me by letting me know that I did my best. Sometimes it didn't help and I would still find myself post-meet crying. Really though, the losses are what pushed me. Winning is great, but we learn most from the times we fall.

Thank you for teaching me not to crack under pressure. If I have one memory about gymnastics, it's that competing is stressful. I remember the shaky legs as I tried to perform a flawless routine. I remember being angry with myself for making mistakes. I also remember that despite the nerves and all the eyes on me during my routines, I usually came out on top. Gymnastics taught me to be myself while also being the best self I can be, all while looking good for others.

Thank you for giving me the best teammates/friends I could have ever wished for. Honestly, after 5 years out of the sport, there are very few girls I still keep up with. A lot of them still compete and we still talk every now again. While I was still active in the sport, however, my teammates were my family. I mean, I saw them 5 days a week. Going through tough times together made us closer, and my team was always there to support me and cheer me on. A bond like that is hard to find.

Thank you for the horror stories. Sit down with me for 10 minutes and I'll have already talked your ear off about some of the things I went through. Blood blisters and rips as big as my palm, bruises, falls, etc. The list goes on. I've split the beam countless times, and let me tell you, it isn't a fun time; you never get used to the feeling. But like I said, without the rough times, I would never have learned how to stand up after a fall.

Thank you for pushing me past my limits. Conditioning was never a joke. We would always complain or try to get out of it. But hey, that 6-pack of abs was nice while it lasted. I'd kill to go back to my gymnast body. Your body feels like it's at its limit, but then you do one more, two more pushups and bam! You've broken through a wall you never thought possible. I carry this mentality with me every day in college. Even when I feel like I can't possibly study any more, I know that I can. And when I do, the result is always amazing.

Over all, quitting gymnastics is by far my biggest regret. I will always miss the sport, even though quitting when I did was what needed to be done. As sad as I get about the history I have with gymnastics, and as much as I miss my coaches and teammates, it gave me a great start in life. Without gymnastics, I simply wouldn't be who I am today. My values would be a lot different, I would have a weaker work ethic, and I wouldn't know what it was like to have my team actually be my family in the gym.

Like any true love, there were days when I beyond hated it. There were times when all I wanted to do was quit and give up. But I always hung in there. For every day full of hatred there were double the days full of success and accomplishment and happiness. Thank you, gymnastics, for giving me the experiences that you did.