why guys can't take no for an answer
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Boys, I Shouldn’t Have To Say I’ve Got A Boyfriend For You To Leave Me Alone

Spoiler alert: I don't owe you a conversation.

Boys, I Shouldn’t Have To Say I’ve Got A Boyfriend For You To Leave Me Alone
Arianna Zakrzewski

Ladies, we've all been there. You're out with your friends, or messing around on social media, when suddenly you find yourself wrapped up in a conversation with a boy who just doesn't seem to understand the meaning of "no."

You try to be as polite as possible—if you're anything like me, you're probably afraid of his reaction if you just told him to leave you alone—so you find ways to get the point across as nicely but firmly as possible. The number one excuse most girls use is, "Sorry, but I've got a boyfriend." And that pisses me off.

To preface what I'm about to say, let me just establish that, yes, I do have a boyfriend. But I've felt myself forced into using this excuse years ago, even when I didn't. And here's my issue with that.

I do not owe you a conversation. Whether it's out at the bar, or in my Twitter DMs, I don't have to talk to you. But I like talking to new people, so if someone strikes up a conversation with me then I'll join in, at least for a little, to be friendly. The problem is that so many boys take "friendliness" as a sign of attraction. You give them an inch, they'll take a mile.

And I mean, that's fine. I'd be lying if I hadn't ever thought, "Wow, this person is being really friendly, they must be into me!" and been wrong. I feel like everyone does it. But the problem lies in that revelation that you're wrong, in how you react to it.

When it's happened to me, I've been able to recover. I can take "no" for an answer. If you're not into me, that's fine. When I was younger (and single) it might've hurt a little, but I could respect that I was wrong.

When I've been on the other end of it, those boys don't take "no" for an answer. They're persistent. I can tell them how uninterested I am a billion different ways, and they still believe I'm just playing hard to get. Spoiler alert: I'm not.

I feel like the fall-back for most girls is the boyfriend excuse. Like I said, I've been doing it for years—at least since I was 15, honestly. But the older I get—and the further into my relationship I get—the more angry it makes me.

Boys, I don't need to tell you I've got a boyfriend for you to leave me alone.

If you actually liked me in the way you claim, you'd respect my decision and go away. If you had any sliver of respect for me—or, let's be honest, women in general—you wouldn't push it. You'd bow out gracefully. But instead, you don't stop until I tell you some other guy has already staked his claim.

Which is complete bullshit, honestly.

I'm a person with my own autonomy. I do not belong to anyone. I am not anyone's property. You cannot "claim" me.

Take my no for an answer. Not my relationship—real or fake. Show me a little respect, please.

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