“Patriarchy is the single most life-threatening social disease assaulting the male body and spirit in our nation” - bell hooks

I’ve been reading a lot of feminist literature lately, and my most recent reading assignment “The Will To Change, Men, Masculinity, and Love” by bell hooks, has gotten me thinking about the relationship between men and feminism…or rather lack thereof in today’s society. Observing this baffling disconnect between a crucial audience and a movement that serves to bring about a future of equal opportunity, I can’t help but find myself asking why this disconnect exists? Why, in this day and age, are we not all feminists fighting for the equality of all and the freedom from sexist exploitation and patriarchal oppression? I honestly have no idea. In order to interrogate this further, I decided to break down the reasons I’m often given by men and others for not supporting feminism.

1. Feminists Hate Men

As a self-proclaimed feminist, let me clear this up: I love men. I love my brother, my uncles, my guy friends, male co-workers--even random dudes on the street. I love them all, because true feminism is not about man-hating. It’s about love. It’s about equality. It’s about the end to the confines of patriarchy and misogyny that restrict both men and women in our day-to-day lives.

2. Feminism Is For Women

False. Flat out false. Feminism is for everyone, and if you don’t believe me, I encourage you to check out feminist scholar bell hooks' incredible novel titled “Feminism Is For Everybody.” Yes, women have an outstanding amount to gain from the feminist movement...So do men.

3. Feminists Are Always Angry

Am I angry that I am not guaranteed the same fundamental rights as my more privileged male-counterparts? Hell yes I am. Do I spend the majority of my existence living and breathing bitter resentment-fueled hatred? No! Seriously-- who has time for that? I use my time and vast emotional range, to conquer the oppressive power structures of society (I mean, that and Netflix) rather than sit around and rage against the world.

4. I Don’t Like Labels

That’s fine I guess, if you can honestly tell me you don’t identify with any other label in the entire history of labels (which, if we’re being honest) is HIGHLY unlikely. So tell me what your aversion to this label in particular is? Also, feminism isn’t a ‘label’ in the way that labels are commonly used. It’s a movement and unifying under one title is how movements progress and build momentum in order to bring about change. You don’t hear people saying “oh yeah, that thing Martin Luther King Jr. led in the 50s." It’s called the Civil Rights Movement and people call it what it is. Having one name under which people can unite is a way of bringing out solidarity and a cohesive identity element to the movement.

5. Identifying As A Feminist Isn’t ‘Manly’

This hits at the center of why we need feminism in the first place. Within existing societal norms, gender roles are powerful patriarchal tools used to reinforce the idea that males are inherently dominant and women are inherently submissive. This is harmful in so many ways because not only are women relegated to a life of being deemed lesser than man, but men are also trapped within a sexist ideology that tells them they are not allowed to feel or express emotions. This causes men to create a persona that imprisons their true selves within a shell of socially constructed masculinity manifesting itself in the form of domination, brutality and violence.

6. Feminists Are ‘Crazy’

First off, can we please stop using ‘crazy’ as a word to exaggerate the outlandish, undesirable behavior of individuals? This is called ableism, but that’s an article for another time I suppose. When I hang out with my feminist friends, (which let’s be honest, that’s 99.9% of my friends) we don’t sit around drinking tea, talking about how much we hate men and how we want to make them suffer while planning our next diabolical plot to push our liberal agendas. I honestly don’t understand when people give me this reason. What is ‘crazy’ about wanting equal treatment and protection under law? What is so absurd about wanting to eradicate sexism within our institutions of power? Nothing at all. So maybe let’s stop generalizing the essence of an entire movement to the behaviors of radical extremists.

7. I Don’t Know What Feminism Is

Fun fact about your favorite blogger (cough, *me*), I DIDN’T EITHER. Until my freshman year of college, I had no idea what feminism was and believed many of the falsities in the reasons listed in this article. Luckily, I had a great debate coach and friend who encouraged me to interrogate my beliefs until I realized that I am a feminist--I just didn’t know it. Not knowing is totally fine. We aren’t born with the knowledge of the universe installed in our brains; ignorance is an essential part of learning. So I’m here to say that it’s okay to not know, but I encourage you to use the masses of resources at your disposal to get educated and learn what feminism is all about. Hopefully this article is a good step in that direction.

8. I Don’t Need Feminism

Believe me, you do. Everyone, in some shape or form has been, or more accurately, is currently being affected by the patriarchal social and political structures on which our society builds its foundation. Somewhere right now, there is a child being bullied at school because he prefers to play with dolls rather than play sports. There’s a father struggling to relate to his daughter because she’s grown distant with him due to his inability to show her the emotional connection she craves. Even worse still, everywhere you look there is another man’s broken soul withering away in its emotional prison. All of this is directly linked to patriarchy; the very thing feminism aims to dismantle.

So you see, feminism isn't the man-hating, angry, girls-only-club you think it is. It is, to quote bell hooks, "a movement to end sexism, sexist exploitation and oppression". Now that sounds to me like something everyone can get behind.