I made the most crucial decision of my life thus far on a plane heading to Europe and on a plane heading back to the U.S. at age 18. Embarking on a school trip in senior year to Spain and France, I found myself confronting a scary decision. I boarded my flight at the end of April, knowing I would have to make this big decision by the time I got back, as a deadline was fast approaching. After 14 to 16 hours round trip, countless pros and cons lists, speaking privately with some teachers on the metro in Paris, and staring out the plane window, I decided where I wanted to go to college.

I returned from my trip feeling completely at peace with my decision because I knew I had exhausted all avenues of college through my many lists and conversations, and I was ready to commit to an institution. When I told my parents of my choice, there was some disappointment from one of them because his or her — anonymity is what makes the world go round — alma mater was not chosen. I wasn’t elated that my decision wasn’t accepted wholeheartedly by both of them, but I was sure I knew what I was doing.

All in all, I ended up exactly where I was meant to be and I love my school more than I could have imagined. I have made some of the most wonderful friends I’ve ever known, I’ve learned so much about what I want to do and how I want to go about molding my future, and I’ve learned many things about myself.

My college decision process wasn’t typical, but I don’t think there really is any typical college decision experience. Every person is different, so every decision and process is, therefore, different and unique and there’s no real “right way” to go about it. There’s also no real “right way” to go about making any decision, no matter how big.

This story can be applied to any scenario you could imagine, and I have the key to figuring out how to pull the trigger and make your choice. Late teens and early 20s are years in which big decisions come in waves. Where to go to college, what to major in, significant others entering and exiting stage left, moving away from home, making job decisions, graduating college, and living on your own.

These are daunting, seemingly life-altering choices, but it’s easy if you break it down into pieces. The first thing to do is realize that you don’t have to make any of these decisions overnight, and you shouldn’t. Choices take time, and more often than not they require you to think about them and turn them over in your mind. Instead of trying to run away from deciding and being afraid to delve into making a choice, embrace the decision and give it all the time your brain can handle. You will feel much more prepared and informed when you arrive at your decision.

Next, discuss your thoughts with someone you trust, someone who wants to see you succeed. Usually these people will have responses to your thoughts and give you a new perspective on your decision, but even if they say nothing, it’s helpful to talk about your pros and cons aloud or write them down. Organization of ideas can be a relief when you’re trying to discern what to do.

The next step is to understand that you are in control of what happens to you, how happy you are, and how you want to go about making yourself that happy. If you want to do one thing but feel influenced by someone close to you to do something different just because they want you to, then their intentions aren’t for you, they’re for themselves. So make the decision that works best for you, no matter how difficult it may be to move away from someone you love. Sometimes you must take a new path from something you don’t find useful anymore because it’s better to be happy and successful than miserable and bitter at a wrong choice.

Some people use “everything happens for a reason” as a way to rationalize decisions or things that happen to them. I’m more inclined to think that you decide what happens to you, so be confident in your thoughts and feelings because you’re in control of the outcome! Decisions are intimidating and hard to swallow sometimes, but life wouldn’t be as amazing and beautiful as it is without having to figure out how to find your way through it. Don’t wait for someone to take your hand and lead you through it themselves; start the change yourself, you can do it.

Lastly, make the decision! You’ll know when you’re ready. That’s the key really, that you will know what to do and you’ll know it’s the best thing for you. No one can tell you how to do it because no one knows you like yourself, and you will feel ready when a conclusion has finally been reached. Make the decision and go with it, you’ll be surprised at how happy you are with the outcome!