We've all been there. That point in our lives where we're too afraid to make a change, even if the change seems like it may be for the better. Whether it be a new job, a new relationship, or even a change in our major, it takes a lot for us to take risks and make that jump. Why? Because of the fear of the unknown. Being hurt or let down, no matter by who or what, stays with us. And the fear of history repeating itself hinders us from what might be. In most cases, we don't even like the way things are now; but we're comfortable and that comfort eats away at any hope of ever being more than what we already are. So for all those out there who are just like me, here it is: five things to remember when you’re afraid.
1. It is never too late.
It doesn’t matter if you’re 20 or 45, it is never too late to take back control of your life when it tries to take control of you. It is never too late to tell your boss to shove it when he’s made you work every weekend for the last six months, to break off the relationship you've been forcing yourself to stay in and, most importantly, it is never too late to follow your dreams.
2. No one else can make you happy but you.
Remember that comfortable feeling we discussed? Is it really worth going through life being comfortable instead of happy? I used to think if everyone else in my life was happy, I was happy. But I spent so much time making others happy, I never did anything for myself. I didn't even know who I was anymore. If you’ve ever heard of the cup analogy, it very much applies to this scenario. You have to fill up your cup before you can fill someone else’s - if all you do is pour into their cup, you have nothing left to pour into your own. If you are unhappy with some aspect of your life, remember only you have the power to change it.
3. Face your fears.
What’s the worst that could happen? Maybe you won’t get that raise, maybe he won’t call back, or maybe you’ll change your major and realize you hate it. So what? You’re still you and no one can take that away from you. It’s better to try and fail than not to try at all. You’ve been let down somehow before and even if it took a little while, you picked yourself back up and kept on going, despite whatever life threw at you. You did that. All by yourself. Don’t sell yourself short.
4. Don’t let others influence you.
We’ve been conditioned at a young age to let others' opinions of us shape our opinions of ourselves. We tell ourselves we don’t deserve that guy because our friend said, “he’s too nice for you”, that we can’t change our job because we might make our boss mad, or that we can’t change our major because we don't want to let our parents down. In the end, you have to come to terms with the decisions you’ve made. And who wants to be lying on their death bed knowing they did everything in life because someone else wanted them to?
5. You’re not alone.
You have a support system behind you, whether you fail or succeed. So what, you had to call your best friend minutes before a first date for a pep talk? She’s been where you are and she’ll be there to tell you you’re amazing and he’s an idiot if he’s not interested. Everyone’s had to leave behind a chapter of their life at some point. There are others out there just like you. Confide in them. Let them push you outside of your comfort zone at least once in your life.
If all else fails, binge-watch "One Tree Hill" on Netflix, eat ice cream, and never let anyone tell you you’re not beautiful. Remember, sometimes everything you want is on the other side of fear.
