A Guide To Tailgating
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Sports

A Guide To Tailgating

It's a marathon, not a sprint.

25
A Guide To Tailgating

I don’t know how else to put it, but I LOVE football season. Not only do I actually enjoy the game, but all the other good stuff that comes along with it, including the outfits, the friends, and the tailgates. For me, this involves hopping from frat house to frat house, in my game day dress with sisters in hand, more than ready to embrace the magical day ahead. There’s no other way to really describe tailgating besides it being fun. It’s just simply fun. You’re all there for a common cause, there’s free alcohol, and a good amount of the time, there are puppies.

But before you start shot gunning nattys, there’s some things you need to know. Your first tailgate is a whirlwind. There’s a good chance you’re probably not going to remember it completely, but that’s what Snapchat stories are for. So, here is a note for all first-timers this fall, let me be your spiritual guide. A game-day Yoda, if you will, and I'll give you some tips on how to become a tailgate connoisseur.


1. Eat the food!

If you are going to be drinking all day, you need to eat. You are not Superman, you don’t actually hold your alcohol as well as you think, and you need to eat. A good amount of the time there will be a typical BBQ with hotdogs and burgers. Make yourself eat. And if all else fails, call Jimmy Johns.

2. Take off your letters.

Ladies, I, just as much as the next sorority girl, love to wear my game day pins. It’s almost like a right of passage or a badge of honor. While you should wear it proudly, there are times where you should really take it off. These times include but are not limited to: ice luges, shotgunning, haircuts, standing on a table singing any rendition of any country song, etc. As you will learn from your future standards chair, there is a time and a place for everything, including your game day pin.

3. Develop a game plan.

Much like your football team, you and your squad must come up with a plan to bounce from house to house, like a treasure map, where the “X” is the stadium and you have to stumble your way there. Sort of like Dora the Explorer. Learn the lay of the land, figure out which houses your friends are at, which have the least crushed cans on the ground, which has working air conditioning, and most importantly, which house has a bathroom with toilet paper.

4. You may not make it to the game.

Hey, it happens to the best of us, and it’s going to happen to you one time or another this season. We don’t always make it to the game, sometimes we just need to make it to our beds. Tailgating is a very strenuous activity that exerts a lot of energy and creativity to come up with good captions. We’re human. Don’t worry, champ, you’ll get ‘em next time.


Like I said, football season is a beautiful thing and we should treat it as such. Have a blast, it’ll be some of the best days of your life, but be safe and know your limits. It’s one thing to get a little too drunk one Saturday, it’s another to never make it to a game this season. I wish you all the best of luck in your endeavors.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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