A large stigma has loomed over long distance relationships (LDRs). People say they do not work, are not worth it, and are not a real relationship. It has received this stigma because of the many unsuccessful LDRs brought on by couples who are not aware how to properly function within the relationship. Here are ways to make your long distance relationship foolproof.
1. Your Attitude
In LDRs some qualities are especially needed to help the relationship stay afloat. A positive attitude is a large necessity in an LDR. This relationship requires lots of nights alone and patience. Keeping a positive attitude throughout the relationship will boost spirits and keep doubt from creeping in. Couples who focus on the positive things about their partner last longer. The ability to notice the good in the bad is another fantastic attitude someone can have. When looking at an LDR, a person could see many negative things, but when the person can find the good in the bad, everyone seems to benefit. Problems will arise in the relationship, but the key is to find the solutions.
2. Your Traits
Both of the partners' traits have a great effect on how successful the relationship will be. Being an active listener can be associated with increased positive communication. The other partner will feel appreciated and heard. Trust is one of the most difficult parts of LDRs. If there is no trust, there is no relationship. Being so far away, it is hard to trust another person without seeing them everyday. Couples should always go into the relationship with the mindset that everyone is innocent and worthy of trust until they are proven guilty. Honesty within the relationship is vital to its success. Jealousy is a common cause of relationship failure. One person within the LDR can become jealous of the people who see their significant other every day. Being controlling or feeling controlled is another relationship killer. Controlling another individual makes them feel trapped and suffocated. Controlling can come in the form of ultimatums or telling them what he or she can or cannot do. Be careful to not cross the line; couples need to discuss where that line falls.
3. Communicate In A Way That Fits Your Relationship
Not enough communication is a significant factor in tearing LDRs apart. When two people are spread apart, they can feel separated and left out of their significant other’s life. A way to fix this is having an efficient way of communicating. When couples are not able to talk as often, talking about the important things first is a good strategy. Do not forget about the little things, though, because what may seem little to you, may be huge to your partner. Keep in mind that the small things and minor details create interrelatedness. Another tip is to always pay attention when the other person is talking, as this makes him or her feel cared for and appreciated. The negative things should have their time and place, but when there is limited time to talk, try to focus on the positive things. Be sure to vocalize all feelings in the relationship so there are no hidden feelings that can build up inside. The last tip is to not fight for the sake of fighting. LDRs do not have enough time to be caught up in small fights that are without purpose. These fights usually end up in unresolved issues and unhappy relationships.
4. Set Realistic Expectations
LDR couples need to be especially careful in keeping their expectations within reason. They need to be honest about what they can and cannot have. Also, couples need to understand their own personal limits. Both people in the relationship must not be in a place where they feel highly tempted to cheat on the other person. Couples must be committed and serious. Being serious means understanding both the physical and emotional strain an LDR causes. Physical strain can be caused by the countless hours of staying up late on Skype, or even by emotions that manifest themselves physically. Emotional strain is caused by feelings of emptiness, loneliness, and occurs often after the end of a visit. So be realistic with expectations, so no one is surprised by the strain that can occur in the relationship.
5. Create Long Term And Short Term Goals
Long term and short term goals can be used to keep the relationship pushing forward. Long term goals include a date or a time period of when the distance will be closed. Having an end in sight keeps the couple happy and excited to move forward. Short term goals include planning visits. Do not cause stress on the relationship by having unrealistic goals like meeting halfway every other weekend. Visiting requires a lot of money, so couples should plan their visits according to what they can handle. One option could be that one person visits the other for the three major breaks, then the other person can go visit that person three to four other times during the year. As a short term goal, couples should discuss the kinds of communication and the amount of that communication they want to have during the day. Setting these types of realistic expectations and goals create a no-secrets relationship that is bound to be successful.
Long distance relationships can set a high price to pay for simple companionship. However, I wouldn't trade my relationship with my boyfriend (pictured above) for anything in the world. When someone finds the person they love, no distance is too long or too hard. Long distance relationships work, but a person just has to find a significant other who is willing to work for it just as much as they are. People need to stop limiting their options and realize the extraordinary opportunities a long distance relationship brings to the right two people.
