When I was little, I obsessed over the look of a Barbie Doll. I told my mom that I wanted to look like them- perfect long hair, perfect body, blue eyes. I was obsessed with being perfect.
I vividly remember that one night I cried myself to sleep after a bath because I didn't have "Barbie hair". It wasn't long enough, it was too curly, and Barbies didn't have curly hair. When I got old enough to figure out how a straightener worked, I burnt my hair to a crisp so it was impossible for it to curl up again. When I was 12, a friend told me that my hair looked dull and broken. That it didn't have any shine.
I couldn't win.
I was thirteen when I was told I was flat chested. I barely even know what that meant. But I guessed it was because my chest didn't stick out like all of my brother's girlfriends'. The next time I went to the pool I covered up in a tank and shorts. I still remember the boy who said it. I remember the little eyes that focused on my chest. When I found out that Victoria's Secret sold push up bra's, I dragged my mom to help me pick one out-- pink. The next day, I was told that I was "trying too hard".
I couldn't win.
When I was 14, my face caught up with puberty; zits covered my once-smooth skin. I was told that I should try "covering it up" with the perfect ivory liquid face foundation. I went to Target and bought the most expensive one available. I rocked it to school, super happy that I finally fit in with the rest of the girls. When I went onto Facebook the next day, people were laughing at a white chocolate crush bar with the caption "WHITE GIRLS WHEN THEY COVER UP THEIR ACNE".
Why can't I just win?
At 19, I am told by social media that 130 pounds is too heavy for a girl like me. That eating right and exercising would be in my best interest.
And, "Hey, try out our new diet supplement for $80 a month, it really works"
And, "Hey, join our gym! Only $45 a month"
And "Buy our fruits and veggies and gluten free snacks. Just 20$ a piece"
But you know what? Screw all of it.
Ever since we were young, we were pounded with a list of pointless things that we wanted to be. For what reason? Why? We are rarely reminded that being happy in your own skin is enough--that being perfect is looking in the mirror and realizing that you're never going to reach what everyone wants you to be. So why not just be what you want to be? Happy, beautiful, confident.
That's when I took out the word "perfect" from my vocabulary.
You're never going to reach it; you're always going to get hate. It's the way you take that hate and build yourself up from it. Realize that, in the long run, do you care what "Jane1234" from twitter thinks about your selfies?
No.
Just as Christina Aguilera once said "You are beautiful, no matter what they say. Words can't bring you down."
So don't let them.
