I remember him. He was different, unusual, Johnny Deppish. His hair was a little too long, he smoked, had tattoos and wore tight jeans. He was not trendy, yet so cool, calm and collected, as if his look would catch on at any minute, recycling, hot, for the twentieth time. His eyes deep almost hypnotic, his face scruffy, smelling like leather and soap. A smell I found to be uncomfortably soothing. You know him. The Bad Boy.
We all are, or have been, attracted to him, on some level...a gut feeling, chemistry, animal instinct...a draw we cannot deny or overcome...an undeniable, unmistaken pull to find out more. It's like we don't want to be, we know he will have to be kept away from some of our friends and all of our family...and yet...he's like quick sand...we know that it will probably not end well...and yet we can't fight the primal urge to bond with the bad boy!
I've gone through it, more than once, I'm afraid. I've seen each of my friends get sucked into the abyss, only to return a bit drawn and disheveled. The return recovery period takes weeks, sometimes months...like an extended hangover. I've contemplated this irrefutable attraction, subsequent involvement and eventual recuperation period and have reached a few conclusions.
Sometimes, we just have to let go. To take a chance, do something out of character. Just be careful to limit your involvement to leather, lace, eye makeup and hair style. A discreet tattoo isn't the end of your pristine world either. Don't get involved in the drug or drinking scene, that will make the after effects much worse. Don't loose yourself before he looses you.
We're curious about how our differences. Polar opposites attract and repel. Often in that order. We need to test unfamiliar water...without going in over our heads. It could be during a rebellious period, a time of exploration or just pop up for no reason. Why not go with the flow...just don't think he's going to change. I'm certain other women have tried. Be ready for a quick get away, if needed.
It may be the simple fact that your mutual chemistry driven relationship couldn't help itself. Be protected mentally and physically, because it will eventually run its course and one of you will want out. Guaranteed. If that's the case, moving on won't be that difficult...Maybe...
Most importantly, you have to know that it's okay. Sometimes we have to go against our better judgement in order to learn to trust it more, next time. It's how we grow.
Making bad (boy) choices will aid the discovery of the way we want to be treated, lead us closer to the one we want to stay with. If we only meet and date "our type", we'll always wonder what that bad boy was like. Besides, maybe he's a good man going through a rebellious stage.
