What does it really mean to actually grow up? Are you considered grown up when you have a full time job, or when you're married with children? Is it when you can pay your own taxes (thanks for still doing that for me, Dad) or perhaps when you don't need to call your mom to ask how to do your laundry?
Being a grown up isn't something I think anyone is ready for. It's something we are prepared for every day of our lives until -- bam! -- it happens and surprise, surprise, we're not ready. I had always expected it to happen when I was much older, as I've always been an avid fighter of maturity; however, I have recently learned that growing up is much more serious and not as gradual as I had planned for it to be.
I learned that growing up isn't just all about the exciting stuff, like getting to pay your own taxes and jury duty; it's about learning to deal with the more difficult things life throws at you. The lucky ones don't have to experience the difficult tests life gives you until they are at the proper age of no longer needed mom for laundry. I wish that was the situation for my beloved high school friend group. This group of amazing people has been forced to endure the most devastating factor of growing up, and it came too quickly.
Unexpectedly, the deafening sound of death was brought to our ears three years ago. We were, basically, children when our first experience with growing up came out of no where. The loss of a close friend sent us spiraling down the path of adulthood before any of us were ready. It come to us during a time where we all supposed to be filled with jubilation and full of life, but we were robbed of that by adulthood. It came in and made a permanent mark on our lives -- a mark that cannot be erased or forgotten because it adulthood doesn't seem to work that way. It doesn't allow second chances, when a second chance is all any of us could ever want.
Just as we began to recover and feel safe back in our teenage years, adulthood swooped in again and took another beloved friend from us. The sting wasn't as painful as the previous one because we had felt it before. We were used to the agony of losing someone, as teenagers. All of our parents told us we were too young to know this kind of pain, and they are right. We were too young to have experienced such tragedies. We were too young to know what it feels like to lose someone your own age, twice. We were forced to grow up in the blink of an eye. Saying goodbye again made us all hold on together even tighter.
I thank God every day that we had each other during these times. Our friendship was the only thing that held us together. It seemed, at the time, it was the only thing that couldn't be taken away from us. Friendship kept us all afloat, holding us together above the threat of adulthood. We may have grown up too quickly, but we did it together. The love and bond we have for each other is something most people can't understand. It's a feeling that not even adulthood can take away, Peter Pan would be so proud. To you, all my cherished friends, I am so incredibly thankful for all of you and love you each more than you'll ever know. Our childhood may have slipped away and adulthood came too soon, but knowing that we have each other makes this journey a little more bearable.
Life will never be the same with out Corey and Charlie. They touched so many people in their too short lifetimes. They lived a beautiful life, and the hole in our lives that was created when they left us will never be filled. Yes, life goes on, and as we continue to grow up, I hope we understand why these things happen. We miss you both every day, and wish you would have the chance to grow up with us.
