For me, growing up with two separate families was nothing but normal. I may cringe at the sound of the word “divorce," but I realize that it can be for the better. Here’s a couple things that growing up the way I did helped me to be who I am:
1. Change is good. Others fear change, but not me. I know I can handle what comes my way with a positive attitude! I find change exciting, which is much more useful than getting discouraged. Divorce taught me to thrive from drastic life changes.
2. I could never be too prepared. Life is not just a smooth ride. You move, your parents date other people, you might get a few siblings on the way, but I’m open-minded enough to let my parents find their happiness in their own ways.
3. Packing skills are on point. I can pack an overnight bag with everything I could possibly need in about three minutes. I wouldn’t say I’m a pro, but I’ve done this a few hundred times. Coming back and fourth to Mom and Dad's gave me this skill and I have found it very useful!
4. Always be adaptable. Plans change? No problem. Different living environments? No problem. Living part time at two households taught me to be flexible.
5. Forming independence. This appeared from growing older in a divorced family. Sometimes I was told opposite things at each household, which forced me to make decisions on my own. Being independent is a wonderful quality to learn at a young age. I found myself ahead of others around me.
6. Communication skills. With Mom and Dad being separated, you’re frequently the messenger. Also, you realize it’s important to vocalize accomplishments and upcoming events to each side of the family.
7. Tune out negativity. If one side wasn’t too fond of the other, it wasn’t unlikely to hear comments said about each other. Back and fourth chatter taught me to focus on positive aspects not of just my family members, but of all situations in life.
8. Embrace family. Just because I didn’t live the picture perfect life doesn’t mean that my family was broken or corrupted. I learned to embrace my two families in a way which made me appreciate their differences and also love as a whole.
9. Divorce isn’t always “the easy way out.” I here this line a lot. Two people don’t get married with the thought of divorce. It’s silly to think my parents took the less difficult route. I believe it was a choice for the better and for individual happiness.
10. Unfortunate endings can be the start of a wonderful beginning. Continuing on point 9, divorce can sprout new beginnings. Those of us who have grown up in separated households can’t visualize our lives any other way. Rather than being sad about something out of my control, I have made the best of my situation. Growing up in a divorced family has taught me that life isn't always perfect, and to respect, not judge, other people's upbringing.
