I’ve been thinking a lot about growing up. A lot about my future, where I am going to do, and what I envision my life to be like. I am a goal setter—I set long term goals—so much so that I am probably more of a dreamer than anything. I have so many plans for the future that they are impossible to count. For instance, I want to teach high school at some point, I would like to write novels and publish a series, and I would like to record an album to name a few of my unattainable goals. However, I am nineteen soon to be twenty. In many countries, I am fully an adult. It time for me to start making those dreams a reality and working towards those goals. Before I know it I will be out of time.

What I can’t get out of my head is that how fast it all happened. It seems like I was just starting middle school yesterday and now I am an adult. I can’t believe how fast my childhood went, and deep down, I wish it didn’t go so fast or I at least wish I had another crack at it. I miss the times when I would do nothing after school except my fifteen minutes of homework. I would venture outside where I would just daydream until dinner. I miss the times when I was a nuisance to my brothers and when my parent's love could eliminate all fears.

I am older now, I have hair growing on my face, I am meeting new people every day, I am working towards my future profession, and I am for the first time in my life, living alone for the most part (although I am surrounded by nineteen other dudes in the same boat, but you get my point). I worry. It’s one thing I have recently come to terms with. I have always been nervous and terrified of leaving my comfort zone. I worry about money, taxes, relationships, keeping in touch with old friends, and making sure I am the best person I can be. It is all so complicated and is showing me one thing above all else…

Adulthood is hard. There are so many things to remember. Currently writing this, I am in the basement where I spent some of the most important years of my life becoming who I am. This basement has been home to fights, uncontrollable laughter, sadness, break-ups, but most importantly, whether good or bad, some of the fondest memories. When this is posted I will be in Europe for the first time ever living my life, and potentially accomplishing some of those goals listed previously.

Looking back now, I realize how unprepared I was for the next step. Mentally, I over think. Physically, I am losing weight don’t eat as much. Emotionally, I am a wreck and confused. However, it is par for the course I guess. My parents went through it, my brothers did, and everyone older than me either did or is currently going through what I am. However, I am growing, discovering who I am, and will probably change more this few years than I will ever again in my life.

This is a complete “auld lang syne” situation, but if things ever get tough, or I ever need someplace to go. I can always go back to that basement, back to my brothers' company, or back to my parent's arms for comfort and guidance.