After watching part of David Muir’s documentary “Breaking Point: Heroin in America,” I couldn't stop thinking about it. Watching a young boy call after his father as he left to go to rehab made me remember my experience growing up with my alcoholic mother. The documentary made me realize that addiction and addiction in families is a major issue in our country; and the worst part is, it’s not getting better. All over the country, children are growing up in broken homes with parents struggling to make ends meet and dealing with addiction, sometimes there is just one parent. It happens a lot more than it should and it can absolutely rip a family apart, shredding even the strongest relationships. I know from experience.

In the South, I think we keep it hidden because it’s a taboo to talk about it, but I don’t always follow the rules. I know I was never really educated on alcohol and drugs in high school, one thing that fancy private school slacked on. But seeing fourth graders learning how to dispense an anti-overdose drug hit me deep. Kids that young shouldn't have to know those kinds of things.

Typically, we think of addicts as people who abuse illegal or prescription drugs. Alcoholics usually fall into their own category. But alcoholism is very much an addiction; it’s just a different kind. You become dependent on the alcohol to carry on with your daily life the same way a drug addict needs that high to function normally. The addictions are different in a couple of ways but how they effect a person is very similar. Addiction is a disease of mind and body, it's hard to break them, maybe impossible to cure, and come with a score of side effects that stay with you forever. You won't be able to break free without help, either.

In the documentary, the addicts David Muir follows started off with prescription drugs after injuries or mishaps who needed the high after the prescriptions ran out. But alcoholism can stem from a variety of things, mental disorders like schizophrenia or depression and social factors, like peer pressure. It’s also known to stem from stress, *cough cough college,* and run in families. The ones that can overcome their addiction are really, really lucky, some of the strongest people you’ll meet. But these addictions affect everyone involved in the addict's life, even if in an indirect way.

Growing up with a parent that’s an addict is something that I guess you could say takes one to know one; it’s a childhood I really wouldn’t wish on any happy family. Your home isn’t really a happy place; it can be kind of turbulent and dysfunctional. In my particular situation, Mom checked herself out of rehab and was waiting at the house when we got home. She wasn't in her right mind. Dad told us to pack our bags that night. We stayed with my aunt and uncle, then at a hotel for a few days before we settled at my grandfather's house.

As a kid in elementary school, I didn’t exactly understand why Mom always had to have that glass in her hand or within arm’s reach or why she always ordered a Crown and Coke when we went out. There were constant trips to the liquor store after her bottle was empty, evenings she sat on the sofa watching corny movies, leaving my sister and me to fend for ourselves while Dad worked. A few times, she showed up to our school programs and functions unsteady and slightly slurring her speech. I remember being kind of embarrassed about it, like every adult in the room knew what was wrong with her and that they were sorry for us I guess.

One of the worst parts was feeling helpless; I wanted to help but was too young to know how to really help my mom or understand what was wrong with her. I don’t know for sure what her addiction stemmed from but she did have manic depression and an alcoholic father. After she had been at it for a while, she tended to get angry. I’ll spare the unpleasant stories of her getting angry with my dad for what seemed to me like no good reason. He always tried to do what was best for the family by working and being sure my sister, mother, and I were all taken care of.

When Mom started checking into and out of rehab centers, I didn’t get why she couldn’t stick with it. I was glad she was getting help so we might have a shot as a semi- normal family. One thing you learn is that an addict has to want help, admit they need it before they’ll do it and stick with it. Even after they do, they’ll have moments where they'll want to go back to their old habits. It’s one of the absolute hardest things to get them to see because they often don’t realize that they’re slowly killing themselves and pushing away everyone that loves them.

Even after getting sober, there's always the chance of a relapse and the chance they won't survive that. There are ones that will practically drink themselves to death; their bodies will reject food making them malnourished and unable to fully take care of themselves. Because of the lack of nutrients, organs will begin to fail and that's usually a tough battle to win.

Now that I’m older and have asked some questions, I understand what she was going through. I somewhat understand addiction. Mom loved us so, so much but she was sick. Addiction is a disease, not something that is easily overcome with a definite cure. A dependence that strong is something you can't fully wrap your head around, especially when you're 9 or 10 years old like I was. Losing someone to addiction hits deep, it causes lots of grief for those left behind.

I watched my Dad suffer through it after doing everything he possibly could for mom. We all went to a counselor for a while after it happened to help us properly deal with it. To this day, I think we all wish there was something more we could have done, some way we could have gotten through to her. But they have to admit they need help first. I'm not sure Mom every really agreed with that.

Growing up with someone who drinks 24/7 changes how you see drinking as you get older, especially when you see the vice-like grip it can have on someone and the relationships it can destroy with a twitch of its little finger. I was never really interested in heavy drinking, I've always been perfectly content with one or two drinks. It's highly possible part of that stems from being afraid of becoming addicted. Even though I know I'm not my mother, I know in the back of my mind that it's a possibility.

It's always bothered me when I hear friends my age call themselves alcoholics, not because I think it's pathetic or that they're poking fun at me or themselves. Thinking someone else I care about could fall victim to alcoholism scares me to death. That's not to say I don't know they're just kidding but to me, that's not something to joke about. It's a very real, heartbreaking, and a tough thing to go through for everyone involved. If you don't catch yourself early enough, it may be game over for you.

This next part isn't meant to be a parent's sermon about drinking. Instead, it's a friendly reminder from someone who has seen, first hand, what addiction is like. Drinking doesn't make you "cool," I don't care who tells you so. Don't listen, you don't need that kind of negativity in your life. Getting wasted every weekend isn't a good or healthy way to blow off steam after a long week. Be smart about your drinking habits.

If you find yourself constantly drinking more and more, turning to alcohol to help solve a problem, or make you feel better, set a limit for yourself. Have your friends help you keep track if you think you can't. Likewise, if you see a friend struggling with drinking too much, try to help them get help. It won't be easy but a good friend would do what he or she could for a friend in need. They certainly won't be able to do it by themselves. Help you help yourself or help a friend help themselves.

Do it for family, for friends. Do it for the children you'll have somewhere down the line. Life is too short to spend it in an alcohol- induced haze.