It is so sadly common nowadays, it seems, to see that yet another life that has been taken. These lost lives are so important to remember and to grieve. However, it seems like people forget that it is okay to grieve someone you've lost even if they're still alive.
Whether it's a boyfriend or girlfriend or best friend or family member, we've all lost someone without them leaving this earth. You couldn't settle your differences or they had to leave for some reason, whatever the case may be and deep down, it hurts.
It seems so insensitive to talk about someone who isn't dead like they are, but to some people, that really is what it feels like. It's okay to grieve that person, it's a loss, and we all have a right to mourn any kind of loss.
It's hard not to mourn over the what ifs and what have beens. The trips you took together will always replay in your mind every spring break. The pictures you posted together will always resurface somehow (thanks Timehop). The things that could have been, but now won't be, will sting when they cross your mind.
You'll miss the sleepovers. The days spent hanging out with them and their family. The hours-long phone calls.
You'll sometimes find yourself envious of the person that still has them around. Why did you have to be the person to lose them? Why couldn't it have been someone else that had to go through this with someone they loved?
This kind of grief is so hard because their lives continue without you. And your life without them. They make new memories with other people, and so do you. They take those trips, post those pictures, and do all the things together that you had planned.
It's legitimate. This grief is real and valid. A loss is a loss and that person once meant something to you, so their absence creates what feels like a void in you.
Even though we tell ourselves this grief is okay, it's hard to let ourselves be okay with grieving something like this. It seems selfish. How could we possibly think like this when there are people mourning over things so much bigger than this? Every loss is okay to grieve, you're not selfish for missing something that was taken from you or that you had to get rid of.
People will wrong you, and sometimes those people are the ones who you never would have suspected. Those people though, when lost, are removed to be replaced by something bigger and better.
So yes, it is okay to mourn someone who's still living, but it's even better to realize that they were lost for a reason.