At 7:30 am on Thanksgiving, my family plugged a laptop into our television and logged on to watch a livestream of my Nana's funeral. In Neath, Wales, where my dad grew up and where the ceremony was taking place, it was just after noon. For my uncle in Australia, it was 11:30 pm.

It was a surreal half hour. Unsure of what was best practices for a virtual funeral (where no one would see us), my family came downstairs in our own takes on what was appropriate: my mom and brother wore jeans and sweaters, I wore black yoga pants and a black sweater, and my dad wore jeans, a button down, and a black tie. When it came time for the ceremony to begin we settled into our favorite spots on our living room couches- not unlike we'd done the night before when we watched The Last Waltz while we ate dinner. The first, not yet cut for time, draft of the eulogy that my dad's friend would read on his behalf sat on the coffee table in front of us. About halfway through that reading, the stream buffered and kicked us off of the site, ratcheting up the tension on an already upsetting morning. I told my dad afterwards that it didn't even feel like the people on the screen were people we knew.

Due to sanitation procedures and restrictions put in place to fight the spread of Covid-19, the ceremony was allotted twenty minutes. My family, spread across the world because of our inability to travel and be together, had only twenty minutes to honor over eight decades of life lived by my wonderful Nana.

Although my Nana did not die of Covid-19, I experienced something that thousands of people across the world have had to unexpectedly come to terms with this year: being separated from the people you love while experiencing loss.

It isn't easy having family on other continents at the best of times. Even though it makes for exciting trips and memories, birthdays are celebrated over Facebook and Instagram, and when we are reunited we treat it like it's the only time we'll see each other in the next five years.

I think it's safe to say this isn't the best of times, and I'm writing this in the hopes that it helps at least one person. That people read it and they realize they're not alone.

Let yourself feel

When I first found out that my Nana's sickness would be leading to the worst case scenario, I pushed it to the back of my mind. I had schoolwork to finish, I still have finals approaching. I figured that people had it worse than me, and I didn't want to burden them with my grief on top of the stress and anxiety everyone has already been feeling more months. It doesn't matter if you're dealing with loss or something else, please don't think that you have to continue on as normal right now. Nothing about the time we're living in is normal. If you're sad, let yourself feel sad. If you're angry, let yourself feel angry. There is no deadline or expiration date on your feelings.

Find the best way to express your feelings

If you're reading this piece I need to thank you for being a part of helping me process my grief. For me, writing is the best way to release and organize my feelings, and has been for the past six years. My mom and dad both like to exercise, my brother listens to music and plays his guitar. Whatever allows you to take time to be alone and check in with yourself, I encourage you to do a lot of- whether that be meditation, coloring, jogging, journaling, or even just talking it out with someone you trust.

Keep an open mind

Some people have a good sense of humor about death and grief- I am not known for being one of those people. However, when my uncle in Australia relayed to the family that my film school cousin "analyzed" the livestream and said it certainly wouldn't win any Oscars, I think I might've almost cried laughing. Sometimes we need things we don't expect or think of, things out of our comfort zone, to help us move past feelings we feel stuck in. Know your boundaries, but don't close yourself off to people who are trying to help you- they might end up succeeding.

Think about the things to be grateful for

It sounds corny, but for me this was big. Due to Covid-19 restrictions, there was no wake or memorial scheduled around my Nana's service. My dad took it upon himself to create a family Zoom call, connecting my family in Wales, England, and Australia to remember my Nana and be with each other- even over the internet. I smiled wider and laughed harder than I thought I would be able to on such a sad and strange day. A close family friend brought up the point later in the day that had we been in these circumstances even ten years ago, we may not have had adequate technology to stream the funeral, or to be in such easy touch with the rest of our family. Sometimes it truly is about putting aside the frustration and being appreciative of what we are still able to do given the circumstances.

Don't listen to me if these things don't resonate with you

Everyone grieves and emotes differently. If nothing I said in this article resonates with you and how you're feeling, then at the very least you know a few things that don't work for you. For anyone struggling with grief or any number of other causes of overwhelming emotions right now- you are valid, you are seen, and you are doing a great job.