(This article does not mean to offend any individual part of Greek Life, these opinions are mine and mine only.)

The time was 4:57 PM, and I had just started to relax after a long day of the anticipated “sorority recruitment,” something I wasn’t so sure about...but I tried it out anyways.

I’m the type of girl that chooses black over pink and the gym over a party. So I was a little worried that I wouldn’t fit in with the “sorority girl” type.

I go to a college that I love in a borough of New York City. Everyone here is diverse and has their own personal style, including the sororities. These girls didn’t seem cliquey or too girly for me. Each had their own touch and were overall very nice girls. Maybe this could be the start of something great, I thought to myself.

But, on the first day of recruitment, I observed some things I didn’t particularly like. Over 300 girls lined up in the halls and were all nervous to meet and talk to each sorority. Girls were constantly fixing their hair or reapplying their lip gloss. They second-guessed themselves, looked uncomfortable with hundreds of other pretty girls surrounding them, and stressed. I stood there in my jeans and black boots with not a single nervous bone in my body. I hadn’t even straightened my hair. I was good at talking to people and I knew I had an awesome personality, and that’s all that mattered. At least, I thought so.

“I’m so nervous, what if none of them like me!” I overheard one girl say to her friend.

Girl…if none of them like you, flip your hair and walk out of there like you do not give a DAMN! Was my response in my head. Plus, that’s not going to happen anyways. Everyone will get chosen for at least one. (Wrong.)

So, I went through the process for two whole days out of four, keeping my eye on two sororities that I liked and knew I could fit in at. I still didn’t know if I was ready to commit myself to such a big organization in college since it’s even hard for me to commit to a certain flavor of coffee in the morning. I left that day knowing I could drop my position at any time, even though I had genuine, funny conversation with the girls from each sorority and was pretty confident about them picking me to come back the next day.

I’ll go tomorrow. I’m probably just exhausted from a long day of talking, I thought. Never did it cross my mind that I wouldn’t be attending the next day simply because each sorority did not want me there.

4:57 P.M.

“Hi, Megan? We just wanted to call you to tell you that you did not match with any sororities. So please don’t show up tomorrow for the next day of recruitment. Thank you!”

…what.

My body went into shock mode, I started shaking, and my mind was spinning. HOW?! WHY?! IM A GREAT PERSON! IM SMART, FUNNY, AND LOYAL! COULDN’T THEY SEE THAT? AM I NOT PRETTY ENOUGH?

Tears. Embarrassment. Tears.

Denial stage over.

Real texts to one of my friends that I sent ten minutes after they called:

“My self-esteem is done”

“I talked to so many girls and thought they liked me”

“I’m embarrassed and feel so terrible about myself”

“The fact that I can’t even get into one sorority? I’ll never succeed at anything.”

….Then I realized something. I’m an 18-year-old college student. I’m applying for internships, meeting new people every day, and trying to be happy at the same time.

Are these the thoughts I should be having every day filling my mind? Do I really want to be part of an organization that (not intentionally) makes girls feel this way? No. I don’t, because I am who I am, and I know who I am. I’m smart, personable, funny, and beautiful. I want to do amazing things. I want to have a job I love. I want to go abroad. I want to connect with people. I want to feel like I am a good person. There is no way in Candyland that not getting into a sorority is going to stop me from doing that.

So I don’t care. I don’t care that I didn’t get into a sorority, and I’ll be happy wearing my Adidas apparel on my way to the gym instead of my Greek letters. The lesson learned is that I did not like those thoughts I had in my head right after I found out I wasn’t picked. I didn’t like how it made me feel about myself. The fact that millions of girls go through this every year and some get hurt the way I did just doesn’t sit right in my stomach. Especially since some of those girls may not be as confident in themselves as I am in me.

So, ladies, I’m here to tell you that not being picked for a lead role, sorority, or job does not define who you are. It means it just wasn’t meant for you. You are still beautiful inside and out, and you can still accomplish all the amazing things you want to. You should not have to question yourself or compare yourself to others.

Certain groups or roles do not define you.

You do you girl, and only you can define what “YOU” means.

(Again, this article is not meant to insult, degrade, or harm anyone part of Greek Life in any school. This is my experience and I still respect anyone that is involved in Greek Life.)