I'm a retired cheerleader. I wasn't the best girl on the team; I couldn't tumble, I could barely jump and I was usually pretty distant from the rest of my team. I had my strength, which wasn't much, going for me. But I didn't do it for the team as much I did it for my coach. Jennifer Fulwiler was my biggest drive to keep cheering.

I'd met Jenn in elementary school. She was a teacher, but I honestly never knew where specifically. I also knew her as the coach of the Andover Apaches, the 'rivals' of my own rec cheer team, the AA Gridiron Rebels. She spent most of her time recruiting me to join the Apaches, which probably would have helped my tumbling and jumping skills in the end, but I never budged. I loved cheer and it didn't honestly matter where I cheered, but I did love my Rebels.

I didn't see her much in middle school, but that was because the elementary school and high school (where I'm pretty sure she taught) were right next to each other and the middle school was across the town. But then I became a freshman. The second I'd heard the news for fall cheerleading tryouts, I was ready. And when I made junior varsity, Jenn had finally succeeded in getting me on her team. She was the coach for the varsity team, but she often came over to watch JV's practice. I'm not going to lie, I had high expectations for myself and getting on JV was definitely not part of those expectations, but I knew that if I kept cheering, I would eventually land myself on varsity and, essentially, Jenn's team. That was the ultimate goal.

But by the time sophomore winter season came around and I made varsity, I was starting to spiral mentally. I was ecstatic that I made varsity but my personal life had made it hard to be happy at all. Sure it was amazing to finally be on Jenn's team, but nothing would yank me out of my dark cloud. And then cheerleading became the only reason I went to school. Missing classes meant missing practice and that meant losing your spot in any given formation. That was a no-go no matter how depressed and empty I felt. Sometimes the team was a mess, girls fighting and having few practices with a full team, but being in that unit with Jenn to guide us gave me a reason to keep going.

I finally broke down at practice one day, exclaiming to the entire team, and anyone around the gym, that I wanted to kill myself. But Jenn, along with the other coaches, Chang and Nikki, made sure that I was safe. Jenn allowed me so many missed practices after my episode and she occasionally let me get away with a few things. I walked off the mat once or twice because my emotions got the best of me and she even let me yell at a captain, but she wouldn't let me lose sight of what was important. But she didn't just help me. Any girl or boy on our team was met with the same kindness and compassion. Jenn truly and genuinely cares about her cheerleaders. I can still remember hearing the stories from older girls and alumni about how Jenn stuck up for her team, on and off the mat.

A lot of people talk about the coach that ruined their sport for them, but my coach saved my sport for me. The final time we ever met as a team was Winter Sports Banquet senior year. I'd never gotten an award from the banquets, which we had each season, until that night. I was given the Sportsmanship patch. but that wasn't the best part. Jenn always gave a reason for each award she gave. She told me, and the entire auditorium, that I was given my patch for keeping up cheerleading even though I faced so many challenges - from depression to a strained shoulder and even a neck injury, I never gave up. I never wanted to; cheerleading was my sport, no matter how not great I was at it, I would never have given up on cheerleading or my coach.

The final thing Jenn ever did for me wasn't just her alone. My mother enlisted the help of the school psychiatrist and all the teachers that helped me through high school to write letters into Dr. Seuss's Oh, the Places You'll Go! Each letter made me cry a little harder. Jenn had warned me that I was going to cry on graduation day and she was right, she always was.

Thank you, Jenn. You made high school suck a bit less and I could never find a better coach in all of cheerleading.