A friend recently drew my attention to the total and complete uselessness of grass lawns, arguing that it would be better to turn them all into gardens which actually produce something useful. Now, biology majors and political science majors see the world in radically different ways, but one issue we can agree on is some things people do are simply useless.

This year, more people than any time in recent history are attempting to persuade Americans to support a candidate for president other than the Democratic or Republican nominee. This seems reasonable considering Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are more despised than any other pair of candidates in American history.

In response to this garbage can fire of an election, some are trying to convince voters to vote for the Libertarian or Green Party candidates, which is like regularly watering plants which will be cut down over and over and over again every few weeks. They are trying to convince Americans to waste their vote on a completely pointless endeavor to bring down America’s two-party system.

Good luck with that.

While Libertarian Gary Johnson’s party is debating the legitimacy of drivers licenses, you might as well be running on a treadmill for scenic views or lighting twenty dollar bills on fire. Since Jill Stein of the Green Party is struggling with the basics of climate science, you might as well go on a tree-hugging tour of southern Missouri to save the earth. Both Gary and Jill are convinced of their ability to succeed, yet are completely divorced from the impossibility of their candidacies.

These deluded candidates and their misguided supporters are trying to convince people to participate in an obviously dead-end activity, while promising them the opportunity to change the world. Its like the Roadrunner painting a highway on a stone wall for Wile E. Coyote. There is no road there, so stop running.

The simple fact of American democracy is that it is designed to be a two party system. No third party has ever succeeded in winning the presidency because of the simple mechanics of our system. Jill Stein and Gary Johnson are asking you to vote for them in a country which has never elected a third party candidate. They might as well be asking you to bet your life savings on the chances that Kim Kardashian becomes a nun tomorrow. Its not impossible, just obscenely absurd.

So for just the small price of the one vote you get every four years you too can become a misguided rebel and part of a political party destined only for the footnotes of history. That’s your choice right as an American, but if you want to change our country you can’t keep watering the grass that the landlord is going to just keep cutting down. Invest your time in supporting the candidates of parties who will actually be part of the government and effect real change in America. Stop watering your useless rebellion of a lawn and grow a garden.