Grandma, I Miss You...

Grandma, I Miss You...

Losing someone you care about is one of the hardest things to cope with.


There is a not a single day I do not think about my grandmother. It's coming up on four years since her death, and I miss her more and more everyday. I wish I would have the opportunity to talk to her just one more time, for closure or perhaps just to see hear her voice one more time. Grandma, here are the things I want you to know...

I would not wish Alzheimer's Disease on my worst enemy. To see your once vibrant mind dwindle, absolutely broke my heart. You were the most kind-hearted and wise woman I have had the privilege of knowing. When people say strong women raise strong women, all I think about is how you raised my mom and how my mom and raised me. I cannot say thank you enough for all you have given me through yourself and through my mom. Your hard work, stubbornness and preservation to make something of yourself and not be stuck on the family farm your entire life, gives me loads of motivation to get through college and the knowledge that I can do anything I desire with a little hard work.

Your death was so unexpected. I am so thankful that out of the blue, I decided to spend that last weekend you were alive, with you. I have an incredible amount of guilt for not spending more time with you in your last months, when I could have easily made time to. It was very hard at times to see you struggle to talk, to remember family and friends, to not be aware of times and places but I still undeniably regret not being with you more. I want you to know to know how hard it was to see you in that state- being mindless from the Alzheimer's. I was barely a teenager when the Alzheimer's started. By the time I was able to grasp politics or needed advice on relationships, life, or just needed some words of wisdom, it was already too late to talk with you about them. This still haunts me to this day. Your wisdom and advice is irreplaceable. I'm not perfect, I have made my fair share of stupid decisions, and I would give anything to talk with you during those times and it hurts awfully bad that I cannot and will not be able to in the future. This, by no means, is your fault, it's, if anything, somewhat selfish on my part. You just were unlike anyone else, and I look up to you more than you will ever know.

On a brighter note, I am confident that in my lifetime Alzheimer's will see it's demise. My beloved university seems to have found a break-though treatment for Alzheimer's. It makes me beyond proud that this research and discovery was done at WVU's Rockefeller Neuroscience Institute. Although, this treatment is still in it's early stages of testing, it makes me so happy that this disease will most likely not have the ability to take away anyone else's loved ones in the future.

I see so much of you in my mom, my brother, and even myself. And it's not the same not having you around, but nonetheless it's comforting. Your sayings, your expressions, your stories, I have such vivid memory of them. Oh how I remember every detail of your stories, but what I would do just for you to tell them to me one more time. You lived such an extraordinary life and I hope I have as bright of a future as the life you lived. I will forever cherish all the memories, and most importantly you. I love you so much and forever will.



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A list Of 15 Inspiring Words That Mean So Much

A single word can mean a lot.

Positivity is so important in life. A lot of times we always go to quotes for empowerment but I have realized that just one word can be just as powerful. Here is a list of inspiring words.

1. Worthy

Realizing your self-worth is important. Self-worth can really make or break a persons personality. Always know that you are worthy of respect. And also, never compare yourself to others.

2. Courage

Be courageous in life. Life has so many opportunities so do not be scared to grasp any opportunity that comes your way. You have the ability to do anything you have your heart and mind set to do, even the things that frighten you.

3. Enough

When you are feeling down and feeling that nothing you do is ever good enough, know that you are more than enough. And yes there is always room for improvement but when it comes to my self-worth I always have to remind myself that I am enough.

4. Blessed

Be thankful. A lot of times we forget how blessed we are. We focus so much on stress and the bad things that are going on in our lives that we tend to forget all of the beautiful things we have in life.

5. Focus

Focus on your goals, focus on positive things, and focus on the ones you love. Do not focus on things that will keep you from not reaching your goals and people that do not have good intentions for your life.

6. Laugh

Laughing is one of the best forms of medicine. Life is truly better with laughter.

7. Warrior

Through the good and the bad you are a warrior. Be strong, soldier.

8. Seek

Seek new things. Allow yourself to grow in life. Do not just be stuck.

9. Faith

During the bad times, no matter the circumstances, have faith that everything will be all right.

10. Live

Start living because life is honestly way too short. Live life the way you want to live. Do not let anyone try to control you.

11. Enjoy

Enjoy everything that life has to offer. Enjoy even the littlest of things because, as I said before, life is short. And plus, there is no time to live life with regrets.

12. Believe

Believe in yourself and never stop. Believing in yourself brings so many blessings and opportunities in your life.

13. Serendipity

A lot of times we look for things to fill an empty void that we have. Usually what we are looking for comes when we are not looking at all. Your serendipity will come.

14. Create

Share your ideas with the world. Creativity brings change to your life. However you chose to use your creativity do not be scared to show your intelligence, talent, and passion.

15. Love

The world is already full of so much hate, so love unconditionally with all your heart.

Cover Image Credit: Tanveer Naseer

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Hey Girl, Grace Speaks Louder Than Your False Humility So Stop Saying You're Not Enough

"Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect" - Demi Lovato


The amount of times I've said the words "not good enough" in the last week is appalling.

I'm not a good enough daughter or sister.

I'm not a good enough friend or leader.

I'm not a good enough worker.

I'm just not good enough.

No matter how far ahead I was in one area, I was falling behind in everything else. And if you're a perfectionist like me or at least you used to be, you've had one of those weeks before.

A week of beating yourself up for not being good enough. If you've said it enough times, you actually start to feel it. The unworthiness you've proclaimed over yourself just by repeating the words "not enough" over and over.

A.J. Swoboda and Ken Wytsma "We eventually become our words. We not only become the words we believe about God, but we also become the words spoken over us by ourselves, others, and society."

When God spoke creation into existence, He called it good. But then we perfectionists go and undermine what God has already defined well when we say, "Um, no, not good enough." That's when our words about ourselves become the words we believe about God.

When we go and say "not good enough," we say that our opinions matter more than our own Creator. We .limit the power God has to speak creation into existence. This right here is where we meet pride as it continues to build walls around us just so that it can give us a false sense of humility.

Next, if it's true that we tend to become what we are called, the words we say about ourselves impact the way live and behave. Say you're "not good enough" enough times and you'll soon be bearers of those words, feeling unworthy to accept the grace that God has for us. Our words were never supposed to be more important than His Word but our pride has made it so.

Pride rejects grace over and over again.

Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with developing your character and watching you grow. But if your words are only to criticize and shame yourself, that's not the right character your building.

Correction should always be from love and grace and that's not found in the words "not good enough."

So, enough is enough! Ladies, we need to stop being so darn on ourselves.

We need to draw near to God and let him tear down our walls of pride and false humility so that we can accept the grace that he gives us even when we feel we're at our lowest.

Grace says we're His daughters and we're sisters in Christ.

Grace says the He is our best friend and He's shaping us into leaders just like Him.

Grace says we're free from captivity.

Grace says we are a new creation and that we are made good.

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