My Goodbye Without The Goodbye
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My Goodbye Without The Goodbye

Death is never easy, but sometimes it's even harder.

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My Goodbye Without The Goodbye
Erin Thoresen

It's true, blood really does run thicker than water.

Being uprooted from your family is always a hard thing to go through whether you're a child or a grown adult. Some people are blessed with a traditional, close-knit relationship with their family members. Others may not be. Nonetheless, they will always be your family and that will never change.

I have been blessed with a close family focused on love and built-up relationships. This is amazing to be able to say, especially in today's society. But it can definitely be hard when life calls on you and takes you somewhere else.

I ended up going to college a state north from where I was born and raised. I lived on the same property as a majority of my family all my life and the rest were within an hour car ride (with a few exceptions). Moving away was a pretty difficult transition even though I still had fun and made the most of my next chapter in life. Sad thing is, when life moves on, there are people that stay behind. That makes it challenging to maintain the same relationship you had prior to moving.

I have loved my grandparents on both sides all my life and am more blessed than most that have never met theirs. But people don't live forever and you never know when it will be. My grandfather (my dad's father) passed away when I was in high school so I was close by and able to be there for it all. He was an amazing man and I thank God for the opportunity to get proper closure. This past week I was not so lucky.

My grandmother (my dad's mother) had been ill for a few years now but has seemed comfortable and okay for now. Then without too much warning, became seriously ill almost instantly and was being sent to hospice the following day. I was told by my family that night after work and was planning on calling her the next day in case I wasn't able to travel home in time to see her. She passed away in the middle of the night before I had the chance.

I was crushed, devastated even, and who wouldn't be over a loved one's death? I then did as anyone would and reflected on not only her but my life with her in it. She was an independent, outgoing woman with a strong-willed personality. She loved holidays and any reason to get dressed-up and cook a nice meal. She made sure Santa came to her house also so my sisters and I had plenty of presents and we never left her house without eating while she was still able to cook. She was loved by so many and had a love with her husband so strong that I pray I am able to experience a love half as strong.

I wasn't able to say my proper goodbye like I could with my grandpa. But this isn't about me. I had nineteen years with her in my life. She missed her husband more than anything in this world and who am I to wish her more time apart from him? She was hurting and struggled to really do anything, so who am I to wish her more time in that body? She was God's child first and lived out her life He intended, so who am I to wish her a longer wait time for eternity?

I am human so I am selfish and I wish I could've at least had a proper goodbye. But I thank God for I know she was present and ecstatic to hear me speak at her funeral. That was my goodbye and at least I know it isn't forever.

Meemaw, I love you and miss you. I will see you one day. I am so glad you raised such an amazing man that treats my mom, me, and my sisters like queens. Thank you for loving me for nineteen years. Say hi to Peepaw for me. This is my goodbye without the goodbye, and my tribute to the woman you will always be remembered as. Have fun in heaven til I get there.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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