"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." - Maya Angelou
Our lives are filled with many people ranging from relatives to significant others to friends. Some support you, some build you, and some bring you down.
It doesn't matter who they are, you need to eliminate the ones that make you feel anything short of amazing.
Recognize your worth, and show the ones who don't, to the door.
We gain people in life in which the relationship generally kicks off strong. Some of these people even give you the best memories and times of your life. Only, there's a downside; you don't find that they build you up. This is exactly what makes them toxic.
Toxic people put you second. They do not value you. They do not clap for you when you win. And they do not treat you well. Yet it is still very hard to tell them goodbye. When you say that seven letter word, they take parts of you with them; such as routines, things you have told them in confidence, memories, and who you were when you were with them. Unfortunately, this is much easier said than done. You can't just say goodbye. You have to go through an entire mental process of your approach and how you think life will be different without them, but don't let that panic you.
Picture life without them - will you be happier? Will you be miserable? Will you miss them? Sure, you will miss them, but be careful what you confuse missing with. More than likely, you will miss the part of them that you decided you wanted to focus on. Sometimes you will miss a person so much that you will choose to forget the parts of that person that made you feel horrible about yourself. Do not do that, because, with each and every day without them, you are growing. Missing them is just a part of the process and giving them a second chance is a setback. Where there is pain, there comes joy.
Believe it or not, some people you consider to be one of your closest friends or such, honestly don't care about you. I don't have to tell you that though because deep down I know you know that, you just don't want to accept that. Don't hold back from saying how you feel because you are scared of the unknown. When it comes to yourself, value yourself and make sacrifices. Life is way too short to be miserable and to surround yourself with miserable people.
As Maya Angelou said in the quote listed above, believe them the first time. Rarely give out second chances, because most of the time, people do not change. It's sad and hard to accept, but it's true. Personally, in my 20 years of life, I have yet to meet a person that has changed their actions or demeanor after the second or third chance I have given them. That is who the person is no matter how hard you try and believe it's not. True colors remain true colors, and once you have seen them, don't forget them.
The moments where I have been the most satisfied with myself come from telling hurtful people goodbye. After this was done, I was able to grow, develop new relationships, and become a happier version of myself. All of which you will be able to do, too. You just have to build up the courage and ask yourself if it's really worth it, then make your decision whether or not to continue pursuing the relationship.
“You do not have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. If a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.” - Danielle Koepke
Your pride should outweigh your guilt. Never feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. Never feel sorry for putting yourself first and eventually, you will find the 'good' in goodbye.
Don't waste any more of your life away on these kinds of people. Let them go, you know you need to.
The person you thought about when reading this, that is the person you need to cut loose. This will be the best decision of your life, trust me.
