It is hard to get over a broken heart. Everyone says that time always heals the heart, but how much time? How much time until my heart is completely healed? How much time until I can fully trust someone again? How much time until I can go a single day without shedding a tear over thinking about the good times?

In hopes of helping my heart heal, I am going to write everything that I wish I could say to you.

First thing is, you honestly did hurt me. I don't know if you meant to, at least I hope you didn't, but I am hurting more then I ever have. I know that I am sharing everything with everyone, but I need to do this for myself. I need to learn to move on.

Looking back I feel as though you kept me on a string and that you pulled me in whenever it was convenient for you. You would give me the silent treatment for a couple days but then you would know what to say to make me forgive you. This happened time and time again. If I was smarter I would have taken this as a warning and run.

I have never connected with someone that fast before. I have never trusted someone as fast as I trusted you. You know more about me than anyone else does. You know what I like and what I dislike, you know how to press my buttons and how to get me to not be angry, you know how to make me feel so safe to tell you everything about me.

But looking back, I don't think that you trusted me enough to be that open with me. You kept everything in, and it was painful work to get you to open up about anything. Because of this, I now have a hard time trusting anyone. I keep everything in and don't know how to get it all out. I don't know how to trust someone again like I trusted you. I feel like you threw all my trust right back into my face. And that hurts.

I still have that card which you wrote, where you said that you were always going to be there for me, that I could call you whenever I need you, and that Chattanooga was getting one hell of a girl. You probably don't care at all. But all I want to know is what happened to that guy? What happened to the guy who once said that he would punch any guy who hurt me? What happened to the guy that made me feel like I always had someone on my side? Maybe I was too comfortable with you, maybe I got too attached.

The biggest question I have for you is what happened to make all of this end? Did I do something? I don't remember doing anything wrong toward you. I just want to know what happened. Because you knew that I took a huge leap of faith moving here to Chattanooga. I knew no one. I came in scared to death about how I was going to make Chattanooga my home. But the one thing that seemed to make it better was that I could turn to you whenever I needed to. Or, well at least I thought. Maybe I was too naive to think that you were actually going to be there.

I don't expect you to read this. And I don't expect you to ever respond. I honestly don't expect to ever see you again, at least I am not trying to.

But if you are reading this, I am sorry if you don't like me writing all of this out for the public to read. But I needed to do this for myself. And I think after typing all of this out I am officially done with feeling bad about you.

I wish you nothing but the best and I hope you live a happy life. But I want you to know is that I am no longer going to allow myself to be on your string. You are not going to pull me back this time. My life is going in a great direction and I can't let myself be held back anymore.

For the first time since meeting you, I am excited for my future and I am excited to see where I end up.

Bye.