It has taken me twenty three years to finally realize that I am in fact good enough. I am pretty. I am smart. I am enough. For my whole life, I have had that little voice in the back of my mind telling me that I am not good enough, I have had plenty of people make me feel like I was never enough for them. It is a hard feeling to let go of. It is always there. People can tell you otherwise but until I started to believe it, it never really went away. I am not the prettiest person in the world and never have been. I have never been the girl that guys chase after or even find the least bit attractive. I am the girl who is friends with a guy who I might end up having feelings for but are never returned. I am the friend and never the girlfriend, the one who is liked but never loved. This feeling of worthlessness and never being good enough followed me around for twenty three years. Twenty three years of feeling sorry for myself, of feeling like I wasn’t pretty, of wondering what was wrong with me that the boy that I liked didn’t like me back, what did I do wrong, what did I do to deserve that? I used to cry myself to sleep over this. I used to be miserable. I woke up one day and decided it was time to do something about it. I hated the way that I felt the way that others made me feel despite them telling me that none of it was true but in my mind it was, so them telling me that it wasn’t did not matter to me. It mattered because I didn’t believe them. I believed the voice in my head, the actions of those people, the misery that consumed me for so many years it was all that I knew. Whenever there seemed to be any hope of me getting out this hole that I had dug myself into something or someone would come along and pull me right back down. It was easy to be miserable because of how unhappy and unattractive I looked and felt. It took me twenty three years to finally do something about my weight, to realize that I had to change my life for myself and not for anyone else. I did this for me. I did it for my mental, physical and emotional health. It is important that people know that. I didn’t do it so a boy would notice me, I did it for me. I gained self respect, confidence and worth all for me. I realized that I am good enough and to never let anyone tell me otherwise. I am good enough for me and that is all that matters.
