At the end of the school year, I assumed that I'd be back in my hometown surrounded by family and working as a CNA (certified nursing assistant). I assumed that I'd spend my free time reading and sunbathing. I truly thought that I'd spend my last collegiate summer doing what I had been the other 3 times.
However, a month in and I am living in Charlottesville. I have a job at a garden center. The friend that I was planning to spend a lot of time with had to go home indefinitely. This is certainly not what I expected.
I really can't tell you why I decided to come back to Charlottesville. My parents weren't exactly happy, but I was set in my decision. At that point, I didn't have a job. I was literally coming back to do nothing. I had one friend left in town. I had never driven in Charlottesville before. Why in the world did I decide to uproot everything and leave my comfort zone?
I have no clue what is going on, but I know God is behind it all.
Once I arrived in Charlottesville to an empty house and nothing set to do, I panicked a little bit. What in the world did I just do? I have to cook for myself and drive places. I have to buy groceries. What do I do with my life?
Yet, during all this panic, I also had an unexplainable peace. With the lack of direction, I decided that this summer was the summer for God to come in and do whatever He wanted with my life. I prayed that He would point me to what He wanted me to do and to give me the ability to trust Him in it.
The first week was weird. I walked to Starbucks a lot. I did a lot of quiet times (with my new bible). I read a lot. I started watching "The Office." However, I was getting bored. I needed something more active to do with my summer.
It made sense to look for CNA jobs, but in my heart, that was the last thing I wanted to do. I decided to apply at Barnes and Noble (my bucket list job), but that was a dead end. While looking for jobs, I ran across a position for garden maintenance, and on a whim, I decided to apply. I had never gardened before, I had rarely found myself outdoors for the fun of it, and I had never heard of the place, but before I knew it, I had a job that I was slated to start in two days. Cool.
I've only worked there for a bit, but it's fun. It's hot and sometimes physical, but I get to be in nature, and I'm usually by myself (my introvert dream). I find myself getting to talk to God and really appreciate the world He made.
On days off, I frequent Barnes and Noble. I hang out with pals. I do my quiet times. I go to Book Club. I'm happy here.
I still don't know God's full purpose for the summer. I may never know. But I am living it, I am enjoying it, and I'm using the freedom from stress to figure out what I believe and what is important to me.
I don't like change, yet this summer, everything has changed. I've never gardened in my life, but now it's my job. I hate driving, but here, I drive daily. There's no way that I alone decided to lead my life in this direction.
This summer, I am consciously letting God take the lead. I am stepping out of my comfort zone and conquering my fears. I can't wait to see what all happens.