God Is Not Going To Heal Me, And That Is Okay
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

God Is Not Going To Heal Me, And That Is Okay

Sometimes God's plan is very different from our own.

God Is Not Going To Heal Me, And That Is Okay
Kali Postin

Baptism, Reconciliation, Eucharist, Confirmation, Marriage, Anointing of the Sick, and Holy Orders- the seven sacraments of the Catholic Church. Me being raised in the Catholic Church, I have already completed four of the seven. Baptism I did not have much say over, mainly because I was only months old at the time, but the three others that I have completed were all by my will, not my parents’, nor my parish’s. I have had a strong, devout faith since I can remember. My family very rarely missed a CCD class or Sunday Mass, we pray every day, multiple times a day, and try to turn to God when in doubt. In a Catholic Church, similar to many other religions, any time there is an issue, no matter how big or small, the answer is always “Keep your faith and continue to pray.” That is exactly what I have attempted to do and have done for the past eighteen years.

One year and two months ago I was returning to the basketball court for the first time in over a year due to an ankle injury. My life was full of bliss, and I remember thanking God every day for the opportunity to be doing what I loved again. I had been back on the court practicing with my team (not quite to my full potential yet) for thirteen days, each day pushing myself a little more than the day before. I was twelve days away from being allowed to play in my first game when God decided he had a different plan for me.

When I first got sick I was hopeful. I believed that in time God would heal me because of my faith, so I continued to turn towards Him. I had people from all over the world praying for the same thing I was, answers and healing, and they still do. Anytime someone would ask what they could do for me or my family our response was always, “Continue to pray, please.” Although I was optimistic, “Why me?” was a question that swarmed through my head nearly every day. It was not until over a year of being ill that the answer finally came to me.

"Why Not Me?"

I am the proverbial complete package; smart, positive, social, caring, passionate, what more could He possibly ask for? If someone has to struggle, why would God not choose someone who can fight through the never ending pain, be a voice for the people affected by these life-changing illnesses, and above all, stay faithful in times of doubt?

I once had someone suggest that my faith in God was not as strong because I rely on modern medicine practices. At first, I understood their point of view, I did not agree with it, but I listened to their side of things. After discussing this person’s outlook with a close friend, she said something to me that made everything make sense. Why would God create doctors, researchers, pharmacists, scientists, medicines, treatments, technology, etcetera, etcetera if he did not want us to use them? Am I naive enough to be suffering on this Earth, surrounded by resources that God has given to me, but push them away while I wait for He, Himself to heal me instead? If God did not want me to utilize these resources, He would not have allowed them to be made available to me. If He wanted to watch me suffer, He would not have paired me with doctors and nurses who are doing all they can to help me.

Although it is not God’s will for me to be cured, it is His will for me to be the voice of the chronically ill warriors around the world, so that one day Dysautonomia, Thyroid Diseases, Gastrointestinal Diseases, Neurological Diseases, Heart Diseases, and so on will not come with pain and suffering but instead will come with a cure so that there are no longer questions like “Why me?”

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good.” Genesis 50:20

I came across this verse on accident, and my outlook toward my illnesses has completely changed since. These illnesses harm me physically, mentally, and even spiritually every single day, but the thing that I am able to fall back on at the end of each day, no matter how draining, is that “God intended it for good.” He chose me to fight back against chronic illness for a reason, and although those reasons are as clear as mud to me at times, I keep the faith that one day I will know why; until then I will fight.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Holidays With the Family?

Should retail outlets close on holidays so their employees can be with their families?


For the past few years, having stores open on Thanksgiving has become a popular trend. The sales have started earlier on the day known as Gray Thursday. Now, the Mall of America has taken a bold stand and is closing its doors on Thanksgiving. They are very excited in giving the day back to their workers so they can spend time with their family.

Keep Reading... Show less

Black Friday: Explained

Time to question this unofficial corporate holiday.

Flickr/John Henderson

On a personal level, Black Friday has always confused me. Everyone just ate a ton and spent all day with their families—why would we want to go out and vigorously shop, fighting crowds? I totally see why other people want to go do it, but I’ve never quite understood the concept myself. While I’ve been Black Friday shopping once or twice, I don’t get that excited about it unless it’s an opportunity to spend time with family or friends. Don’t get me wrong; I am the queen of bargains. Still, I never seem to have the energy to go out into the jungle of shoppers early the day after Thanksgiving, or even immediately after Thanksgiving dinner. Many people, though—including my loved ones—are enthusiastic about Black Friday shopping, and it seems most other Americans are the same way. So, it’s worth looking at the reasons for this commercially-driven, unofficial American holiday.

Keep Reading... Show less

#OptOutside This Black Friday

I am opting to go outside this Black Friday, and I hope you do so as well.

Ross Woodhall

The day after Thanksgiving has always been regarded by many as the beginning of the Christmas season. While not a federal holiday, many people take off work, spend time at home with their families, and enjoy the beginning of the holiday season. This Friday off turned into a prime opportunity to begin the never-ending chore of Christmas shopping. Soon it became one of the busiest shopping days a year, which companies capitalized on by bringing the best deals of the year to this day we know as Black Friday.

Keep Reading... Show less

7 Moments You Only Experience As A Night Owl

Cereal never seemed more appealing than at 10 pm.

7 Moments You Only Experience As A Night Owl

There is almost nothing more annoying in the world than waking up to the sound of an alarm. From the moment you get up until the time you get to bed, you are bombarded with responsibilities. You have to go to work and school, run errands, and do favors. But if you're a night owl then you have an advantage of getting a few more extra hours in the day. Here are seven perks to being a night owl:

Keep Reading... Show less

17 tasty foods to cook in an air fryer

Air fryers are becoming a staple in all health conscious households because of its delicious, yet grease free way of cooking your favorite dishes! We all love a good fried chicken dish, but this is a great alternative if you are eating mindfully.

There are plenty of places that sell air fryers such as Target, Bed Bath and Beyond and Amazon.

Air Fryed Avocado Fries
Photo by: Tatum Oblonsky

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments