God, I just don't know.

A phrase I have written countless times inside my journals over the past three years : "God, I just don't know."

Saying this, screaming it out as a lay on my bathroom floor sobbing, writing it down and now, sharing it with you has been sobering. It is sobering to allow myself to be vulnerable and really feel the emotion behind this. Speaking this is me being real with God and telling Him where I am in this Season with Him. I am in the waiting, in the pain, and in the suffering. I simply am just in the "I don't know."

I don't know how to heal.

I don't know how to trust Him.

I don't know what He is doing.

I don't know what He wants me to do.

I don't know what He is trying to teach me.

I don't know what my life is going to look like after this season of "I don't know."

BUT HERE IS WHAT I DO KNOW-

I know that His promises in the Bible are still true and they always will be.

I know that He loves me with His whole entire being and would run to the Cross over and over again for me.

I know that His plans are working for my good, and not to harm me.

I know that He knows what to do, and that He just wants me to trust Him.

STILL, I DON'T KNOW BUT HE DOES AND THAT IS OKAY.

Even when I don't know, God, I will run to You.