Our God is greater, our God is stronger, our God is higher than any other. I grew up singing those lines on Sunday mornings in Sunday school and eventually in church alongside my family. “Our God” was and still is one of my favorite worship songs. I love the message behind it and I love how true it is. My God is greater.
I grew up in a family that went to church on Sundays. In fact my mom recently shared with me that I was a huge reason my family started going to church. I was jealous of my friends who went with their families. So my parents got in the routine of going. I am so thankful for that. I was not the kid that tried to rebel by skipping church. I was the kid that would show up to church as often as I could.
The church I went to for the majority of my life talked a lot about the rate of students who lose their religion in college. I remember hearing the statistics and thinking that wouldn’t be me. No way would I be that person. Going to church every Sunday was what I did. I loved God, I believed in him and I did my best to live my life for him. I would not lose my church attendance or my religion in college. But coming to college I saw myself becoming the statistic. While God was a priority in my high school life, he began to slip in college. Between trying to make friends and learning how to study, I lost him. I also began to date a guy who was getting his first sense of independence. He grew up catholic, went to a private catholic high school and came from a family where you were forced to go to church. He began struggling with the fact that maybe his religion was not his own. That took a huge toll on my faith too because while he was pulling himself away, he was slowly pulling me too.
When I lost God for a couple months I was lost. I was so so lost as a person. Those were the hardest weeks of my life. I was dating a guy who was not good for me. I was stressed over school work. I was picking fights with my roommates over nothing. I was sad. I was anxious. I was homesick. I wanted nothing more but to be back in Minnesota and locked in my childhood bedroom. It was so bad. I began to lie to my parents about what I was doing to keep up with my faith in college. I would “forget” to find a church to attend or “get caught up with homework” when it came to going to an on campus ministry. During that time I also saw myself thinking if I was still doing well in school and that I was making friends than maybe I was okay without God. I had a social life, I was making friends and I wasn’t failing college. I thought I had my life together. I was placing myself on a pedestal. I was clueless to how much my life was truly spiraling down. I was making friends only at frat parties on Saturday nights and the chances of us talking ever again were slim to none. My social life only consisted of parties on the weekend and planning for them all week. And sure I wasn’t failing college but I was stressed. I was also battling anxiety and I was not sure who turn to.
The weekend my parents came down to visit was the first time I truly woke up to what was happening in my “perfect” world. While my anxiety had been dealt with, my roomie banters had not, I was still stressed and I was feeling very alone. When my parents came we went to church together. By the second worship song tears had filled my eyes. And I just prayed. God was in that room. It was the first time I felt him in three months and I was realizing how much I missed him. My faith is what kept me grounded in high school and now more than ever I needed it again. My faith in God is what got me through the hardest moments of my life. And every great thing that ever happened was for his glory. After that weekend my attitude changed. I finally went to an on campus ministry and I dusted off my bible and devo book for the first time since August. I am more committed to growing in my faith now.
I recently tattooed HE>I on my wrist. While it was an impromptu tattoo the words are not. God is greater than me. He is greater than college. He is greater than my social life. He is greater than everything. I needed that reminder more than anything. My god is greater.
While I didn’t plan to be apart of the statistic of college students who lose their faith, I was briefly. I am so thankful that I had parents who loved me through that time and eventually met God loving people who pushed me to really think about what life was like without God. I now know the importance of surrounding myself with God fearing people.
