I don’t think this is a situation with which anyone is unfamiliar. You've fucked up. It’s okay to admit that you did. Seriously, go ahead. Admit it. Journal about it. Talk to a friend. Run it off. Go to yoga (obv my go-to). Simply say it out loud if you need to.
Actually, fuck that – SCREAM IT.
Just put it all out there, okay? The next step is critical but can only be done once you’ve truly expressed it and gotten it out of your system.
Ready?
Move on.
As much as we all wish it were possible, there is no way of going back in time. Whatever you did or said cannot be undone. It is so easy in moments like these to give in to the negative feelings and just give up. Curling up in a ball and calling mom is easy. Unfortunately, mom or dad or whoever won’t always be there. So, use this time and this situation as a unique moment of opportunity to learn. You can learn about yourself and see how strong and resilient you really are. You can become more aware of your limits, high and low, and your pitfalls, of which you will become increasingly mindful as time goes on. I know how difficult it is to admit that you fucked up, especially when it’s something that was completely in your control and you’re the only one at that point who can take responsibility. It’s hard. It will hurt. But there is so much more into which you can channel that energy. You seriously cannot let this low-point be where your story ends. Pick yourself up and take a step forward. It will probably be a baby step, and that’s totally okay and actually expected, just don’t look back and certainly don’t run back. You can do this. Remember that the pain of each step forward is just more distance from you are leaving behind.
Life will move on. You will be okay. The world will keep spinning, and the sun will rise again. Your good moments will certainly outshine the bad. Who knows, you might even be able to look back and laugh at it someday.
Most importantly, though, forgive yourself for what happened. You are human and as much as we humans hate to admit it, we are not invincible. We make mistakes, big and small. Whether or not the person next to you will admit it, they’ve fucked up, too. As much as you'd like to think differently, you really are not alone.
I promise you can do this. So, pick yourself up. Admit that you fucked up. And take that damn step forward. You won't regret it.
“Study the past if you would define the future.” - Confucious
