Ever since I was a little girl, I remember worrying about things that children usually don't even think about. It was just in my nature, I was born a "worrier." My mom says that I got this trait from her, but even she admits that sometimes I worry even more than her. My mom always told me not to worry because she does it enough to compensate for the whole family, yet I still did and still do. I worry about everything and anything, and I have adapted to this. However, being a worrier does make things a lot different for me than someone who doesn't constantly worry. The following things are the struggles I deal with on a daily basis because I am a constant worrier.
1. People laughing in the general area of where I am.
Whenever I hear people laugh around me, I think it is about me. I will literally go into the nearest bathroom to make sure that my outfit isn't falling apart, there is nothing in my teeth, or anything of that nature. And if I don't do that I will think and stress about it for the rest of the day. It's pretty bad.
2. People not answering my text messages.
Whenever I send a text message to anyone and they don't reply, I instantly think they are mad at me. I will make a list in my head of all the possible things that I have done that they could have gotten mad about. I will worry and check my phone until they reply. If they reply and I get a short answer, it's game over. I will worry and try to get them to text more so I can read in depth and analyze their messages.
3. People being late.
Whenever someone is late to our plans, I immediately start to panic. As the number of minutes they are late increases, my panicking increases. After about 10-15 minutes of waiting, I usually think that they have been in a terrible accident and worry even more. Here is a chart to accurately depicts how it usually goes down:
4. Getting sick or finding an unusual bump.
Whenever I find a small bump or start to get sick, I instantly assume that it is a life-threatening disease. I will call my mom, wherever I am, and tell her all my symptoms to make sure I shouldn't go to the hospital. Even when she tells me I am probably fine, I still imagine scenarios of me being diagnosed with a disease and how my life is going to be with it. I will continue to do this until the doctor tells me otherwise.
5. "Can I talk to you?"
The dreaded words, "Can I talk to you?" or "I need to talk to you". My stomach immediately drops whenever I hear these words. Whether it is a friend, boss, family member or professor, I start to panic. My worrying exponentially increases as the seconds go on. My hands sweat and I start to shake in fear that I have done something so wrong to upset someone. It is even worse when people say, "Can I talk to you later?" Cue worrying for hours on end.
6. Locking Doors
This may sound like a weird one, but this is something I worry about every night. Before bed, I make sure to lock every single door in my house. If I am laying in bed and I can't remember if I locked all the doors or I forgot, I will worry that someone will break into my house or I will get kidnapped. I will worry myself so much to go downstairs and recheck all of the doors to make sure they are all locked.
7. Hearing a weird noise while no one is around.
Hearing noises in your house when no one is around is probably one of the biggest worries of my life. I am prepared with 911 dialed and ready to go. I think the worst possible scenario is about to happen, when in reality it is usually my cat playing with something.
8. Always being prepared for the worst possible situation.
I am not joking when I say that I have a plan for most natural disasters and horrible situations. I will lay in bed and worry about situations that I will hopefully never have to endure. Fires, hurricanes, shootings- I have it all planned out and have already worried plenty about it!
9. Always worrying about my friends and family.
Being a worrier, worrying about my friends and family is my second nature. Whenever my family or friends are going through something or have a big event coming up, I cannot stop worrying for them. I'm not even the one going through it, but I constantly am thinking about solutions to their problems or what I can say or do for them. It can be a good thing, but another thing to tack onto the worry list.
10. Did I forget about something?
To do lists are my best friend at school and at home. I am constantly worrying that I am going to forget to do an assignment or forget about a meeting I scheduled a week ago. Maybe it is my Type-A personality coming out, but I constantly am planning every minute of everyday. If I don't have a to do list for that day or a list of things to do, I am constantly stressing and thinking about everything I have to do and I end up forgetting about something.
Even though I constantly worry, I wouldn't want it any other way. In a way it is my way with dealing with things and getting through things. Even though sometimes my worrying and anxiety can get really bad, sometimes it does have good outcomes. And whenever I am worrying too much, I always just think of this chart:
