"I don't give up easy. I fight for what I want. It takes a long time for me to actually give up on something or someone. I can't just throw away all the hard work and time I put into it. I can not just give up because times get hard, especially if that person means so much to me. I keep fighting for what I want until I can't fight no more, until giving up is the only option." — Unknown
However, I'm not giving up. I'm just starting over.
I've been through several emotions these past few months and honestly I can't really blame anyone but myself. I tried so hard and invested so much time in something that obviously wasn't going to work out in the end. Don't get me wrong it wasn't a waste of time. It actually helped me discover what I don't want and what I deserve. I refused to accept it and kept telling myself to pray about it and I realized a lot after doing so. I was praying for God to keep someone in my life who made me feel like I was hard to love and that didn't belong in my life anymore. That season was up and I am finally accepting it. The truth is God was removing them because they no longer belonged in my life for many reasons. They couldn't stay and our lives were going in two different directions. I don't hate them but I'm done hurting myself. I will always have the memories of the good times but will remember the tears shed as well. I refused to let this continue to bother me and I'm so excited to see was lies ahead for me!
Starting over can seem kind of scary at times but I am looking forward to how happy I will be. I deserve better and I'm working on myself for now on. There is no other person that controls my happiness than I. My dreams,goals, and ambitions matters way more to me than someone who doesn't deserve me and they were right for admitting it. Everyone says I'm too nice but no longer am I letting others use me. Yes, I still care about you and I probably always will; but I'm saying goodbye and letting go. Letting go of the one who I adored so much and even the old me.
Stronger than you think I am.
I'm moving on and starting over. From this day forward I'm focusing on myself. I've given it a lot of thought but I am not giving up on love. I'll find someone someday who will appreciate everything I do for them and will accept my flaws and treat me the way I deserve to be treated. This was a lesson learned and an interesting journey. However, I have a new journey now. One where I focus on bettering myself personally and wait patiently for my prince sent from God. I know he has perfect timing, and it is going to take some faith but it'll be definitely worth the wait.
"Right now I can honestly say that I'm not attracted to you any more. I have waited for this day to come, the day where I look at you and feel a simple 'I don't care anymore'. I use to never believe people when they told me this takes time and one day things will start to feel better. I never thought the day would actually come where I would be over you're sweet words, wanting and needing you. This day is here though, and right now I can say it feels better than loving you ever did." — Unknown
