What Really Happens When You Give Your Boyfriend "Husband Privileges"
Swoon

What Really Happens When You Give Your Boyfriend "Husband Privileges"

"Husband Privileges" are much more than sex.

536
Pexels

If you are in your 20's and in a relationship, most likely you have heard differing opinions on whether we should give our boyfriends/girlfriends "husband/wife" privileges.

You probably have thought about it yourself when defining your relationship and drawing boundaries. Dating in your 20's is weird, and you will be unsure at times. So, what truly happens when you give your boyfriend/girlfriend husband privileges?

To clear up one small thing, I'm not saying dating is the same as marriage, I'm saying they should be different. There is a difference in dating, and marriage. Both are a commitment and that is what's commonly confused. It is popularly believed that the small gestures or actions that are meant only for husband/wife should not be done within dating. That does not simply entail a "sex before marriage" religious argument, it actually goes much deeper.

You're probably wondering at this point "what the heck is a husband/wife privilege?". These privileges entail going above the girlfriend/boyfriend "call of duty". It is believed by some that girlfriends and boyfriends should not be a confidant, should not be cooking for the other on the regular, should not be indulging in deep conversation, should not be helping the other with finance, should not be sharing struggles, and other things of this nature. It is believed that girlfriends and boyfriends are simply another person in your life that you spend time with and get to know, and crossing that boundary creates the "Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?" idea.

So, what really happens when you give your boyfriend/girlfriend husband/wife privileges? You become vulnerable. You become so much closer to your partner as you are learning about each other. You share struggle and you are able to help build each other up. It is part of being a compassionate human being, and part of learning. Why wouldn't you want to be there emotionally for somebody that you love? Would you turn your cheek if your girlfriend was struggling and confided in you? If your boyfriend was struggling making ends meet one week, would you tell him tough luck because you're not married so it's not your problem? Of course not. You should be able to trust each other and help each other along all walks of life. So, when you give your boyfriend/girlfriend some of these husband/wife privileges, you are learning compassion, and you are learning how to be a good partner to another.

If a man or woman's ONLY incentive to marry you is so he/she can have sex with you any way that you want, so you will wash their clothes for them, so you will post photos of how much you love them on social media or so you will help them with bills, news flash, that is not the person you should be marrying. You should go into a marriage knowing that the person you are marrying is going to be there through thick and thin. That they are going to help you financially, and emotionally and physically because they want to, not because they have to because of a newfound title. There should be no doubt in your mind. That is why you should give these privileges. Giving your boyfriend/girlfriend SOME husband/wife privileges is important to a strong stable relationship. It is not a "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" situation unless you make it only about favors somebody can do for you, and not about an actual relationship.

So go ahead, cook for somebody you love. Share secrets, share struggles. Help them in all walks of life as you are learning about the person that you are potentially going to marry. As long as you draw a boundary that works for your relationship, nobody can tell you what privileges do and don't work for you.

Report this Content

For a long time, Goya has been a staple in some Latino households. People carry around jars of Adobo when they eat at friend's houses and packets of Sazón Goya can be found in almost everyone's pantry. Many BuzzFeed lists, videos, and memes aimed at Latinos reference Goya somewhere.

But in a year that just keeps hitting us with bad news, Goya Foods CEO Robert Unanue said that Trump was an "incredible builder" and that the US was "blessed" to have him as president at a White House event on Thursday.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

How To Dress Like Your Favorite 'Insecure' Characters — Without Spending $2,000

We take a look at the fashion of Insecure season 4, and how you can create these looks yourself.

HBO

Insecure is one fo my favorite shows ever. It really encapsulates what it's like being a Black 20-something, trying to navigate the many ups and downs of life. Issa, Molly, Kelli, and Tiffany are living their best lives in California while dealing with the twists and turns that come with that.

From life to relationships to careers, this show truly captures everything that runs through my mind on a daily basis. The show has a sense of realness and a strong frankness that makes you gravitate toward the characters and root for their success.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

Making A Food Instagram Was The Greatest Silver Lining To Come Out Of My COVID-19 Experience

With the crazy and scary times that 2020 has brought, find comfort in the one thing everyone loves: food.

The waiter briskly moves towards us and stops just a foot away table, balancing the black serving tray stacked high with the ceramic plates that make-up our dinner. From memorization, he beings gently, but purposely, sliding everyone's orders in front of them and within seconds I'm am starring my meal.

Keep Reading... Show less

Honey has been a staple in my Ayurvedic skincare routine since I was a kid and my grandmother used to make me homemade paste-like face masks by mixing chickpea flour, turmeric, honey, and yogurt together.

I now use honey head to toe — on my hair to make it extra shiny, on my face for its natural smoothing and anti-bacterial properties, and the rest of my body for its extreme textural and brightening benefits. Some people even use it on their armpits for honey's lightening effect on the skin.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

People Are Eating Salads For Breakfast, And It's About Time

As Americans we know we all need to eat more fruits and veggies, why not do it at breakfast?

I first started seeing a dietitian in late 2017. At the time, I was the heaviest I've ever been at about 210 lbs. At the first appointment, my dietitian asked me to record what I ate in a food diary so she could better understand my habits and give me better direction in changing my lifestyle. I did exactly that and returned a week later, diary in hand. After a cursory glance at the pages, she first remarked at how few fruits and vegetables I ate. Deep down I had already known that, but what I didn't know then was that I was far from being alone in that respect. According to a Times article, about 90 percent of Americans don't consume enough fruits and vegetables to meet current dietary guidelines. It's hardly rocket science as to why that is — many of our diets consist mainly of carbs and non-planted based protein. This isn't to say that carbs and protein are the devils; they're both parts of a balanced diet. However, vegetables and fruit are also part of a balanced diet — a part that often gets neglected. So, when I see people on Instagram eating salad for breakfast, I think to myself "It's about time!"

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

Founders Of Color Q&A: Yarlap's MaryEllen Reider On Destigmatizing Women's Health

The father-daughter duo co-founded the brand and has since generated a passionate, dedicated community of women.

MaryEllen Reider

I was lucky enough to meet MaryEllen Reider over a decade ago as a fellow freshman in college. Since then, I had the luxury of being able to witness her evolution from the faithful companion I went to my first job fair with to the woman who is now a pioneer in destigmatizing the portrayal of women's reproductive health.

Keep Reading... Show less

My favorite Editor was feeling under the weather yesterday. All I wanted was to make her a vegan iced matcha latte. With distance forbidding it, I instead decided to write up this quick, easy recipe. I made it to be vegan and organic for optimal health benefits.

Matcha green tea is made from grounded green tea leaf and it comes with the most antioxidant boost ever.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments