Whether you identify as lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, demisexual, or any other sexuality that includes being a girl who likes girls, there are some things that just about all of us have been through. From faulty "gaydar" to constantly correcting straight friends on the LGBTAQ+ concepts they just aren't grasping, this list is here to let you know that you are definitely not alone.
1. Yes, I like girls, no I do not like you.
Contrary to popular heterosexual belief, coming out is not a one time deal. You come out to your friends, family, classmates, coworkers, etc. at different times (if at all). And every time you make a new acquaintance, you have to determine whether or not you want them to know about your sexual identity that varies from the seemingly automatic default assumption of heterosexual. When this new acquaintance happens to be female, more often than not, we get the same guarded reaction. Though they may not say it in blatant terms, their body language says it all. We are required to reassure them, “No, I am not into you like that."
2. I’m not just being nice, I’m flirting.
The dating scene is a real struggle for everyone! Although, the friend zone reaches a whole new level when you’re a girl looking for a girl. Girls’ personalities typically occupy two extremes on the scale: super catty or mega friendly - sometimes too friendly. It is totally common for straight girls to shower each other with compliments in a way similar to how flirting sounds. This is a great ego booster when you’re on the receiving end. However, it is highly detrimental to our efforts on the giving end of actually trying to hit on another girl. We have all had our fair share of face-palm worthy moments where the other party just does not understand that we mean these comments as more than just friends.
3. Do I want to date you or do I want to be you?
This can sometimes be a daily dilemma to different degrees. You’re walking across campus and you see this absolutely gorgeous girl: soft hair, sparkling eyes, radiant smile, curves in all the right places. She’s darn near perfect. Now, here’s the hard part: are you ogling over her because you want to date her? Is she girlfriend material? Or are you admiring her because you want her qualities? Is she someone you would like to model yourself after? Most of the time, we don’t know which of the two it is.
4. The look on your male friends’ faces when…
Your guy friends know you like girls, but sometimes they forget. Or maybe they don’t know and this is how you’ve decided to come out to them. As they babble back and forth about which RA is the cutest or as they rate the girls walking by in the dining hall, you nonchalantly chime in with your opinion as to which girl you’d gladly spend a night with. Typically their facial expressions (ranging from shocked to confused) are often enough to elicit at least an internal chuckle from you.
5. The oh-so-dreaded straight girl crush.
It happens to just about all of us and boy can it be rough. We try so hard to avoid catching the feels for one of our female counterparts who just doesn’t bat for the same team. But alas, it seems to be one of those inevitable cruelties life likes to throw at us. The struggle gets even more real when that straight-girl crush happens to be on one of your very own friends. Now, not only do you have to internally die a little bit because you’ll never have a chance, but you also have to take extra care to avoid spilling the beans so things don’t get awkward.
6. You love your straight friends, but sometimes you need someone else.
Though they may try, there are some things your straight friends will never understand. Every now and again, you just need to chat with another girl who likes girls. Whether it be for advice or just to vent, nothing beats having the conversation with someone else who has been in the same situation. At the end of the day, we girls of the LGBTAQ+ community need to stick together, and (for the most part) I’m glad to say that we do.
