When You Feel You're Not Good Enough For Someone
Start writing a post
Swoon

An Open Letter To The Girls Who Don’t Feel Good Enough

You deserve more than second thoughts and maybes.

118
An Open Letter To The Girls Who Don’t Feel Good Enough
Chani Corpus

There are two main problems girls experience when dating boys. The first is he seems really interested for maybe a week or two and you think, "Oh, he might actually like me, I'm excited to see where this goes!" Then the replies get slower, it seems like he's always making excuses as to why he can't see you or how he's been too busy to talk. You make up your own ideas to excuse his apparent lack of interest in order to stay hopeful that things may work out. As the disinterest continues, you start to think: "Maybe it's not him, maybe it's me. Maybe I'm not good enough."

The second problem is pretty much the same as the first but in a longer timeline. The two of you are solid for over a month, you go on dates, he introduces you to his friends, you talk about everything, you make plans for the future, you feel as though you'll end up in a relationship soon! Then he says he needs a break. He needs to figure out how he really feels about you and you start to think: "Am I too much for him? Did I do something wrong? Did he find someone else? Am I not good enough?"

Why is it that when a boy shows disinterest you automatically assume you are to blame? Stop taking the blame for others' lack of interest.

Why do you not know you deserve someone who knows he wants you instead of someone who has to think about it. He should know, and if he doesn't, then he is the one who is not good enough for you.

A small disclaimer that I have learned recently, though: before you assume someone is losing feelings or is no longer interested in you, ask them. So many relationships end in hurt when neither party communicates honestly with the other. Sometimes you think you're the one being hurt when in reality you're also doing or did things that hurt the person you're interested in as well.

In the big picture though, it's not easy to tell yourself "I am good enough," and move on. You can tell yourself that you're good enough 100 times and still just feel like there's something wrong with you, right? You get caught up in that feeling without a way out insight.

What I've learned is that it's OK to feel like you aren't good enough — as long as you know it's not the truth. You can't help how your brain is wired to deal with your emotions. What you can do, however, is reflect on who you are and what you can control.

What physical traits do you love about yourself? Look in the mirror and pick them out. What makes your heart happy? Seek more of that. What're your reasons for getting up in the morning? Invest time in those. Maybe he didn't see those traits and aspirations— but you do, and they're beautiful.

Once you start seeing the beautiful parts of yourself that you love, you start to realize that you deserve to be with someone who sees you how you see you.

Throughout this process of trying to pick yourself back up again after falling for the wrong person, remember this:

You are worth more than second thoughts and maybes.

So... What now?

1. Allow yourself to not feel good enough, as long as you remind yourself that you are.
2. Don't allow your previous relationships to affect or sway how you feel about your current relationship.
3. Remember there is more to your life than searching for a boy who will want you. He will find you. If he's not making the effort, stop trying. Refuse to settle for maybes and I don't knows.
4. Treat yourself with love. Allow yourself to make mistakes and to get hurt — but learn from this in the future.

And girl, you keep asking yourself what part of you wasn't good enough, when really you should be asking what part of you allowed yourself to be treated as if you weren't. Because you are.

Follow Swoon on Instagram.

Report this Content
Health and Wellness

This Simple 7-Step DIY Face Mask Combines Safety — And Sustainability

Instead of studying like I intended on doing today, I made a face mask for some reason and thought I'd share how I did.

11638

If you were looking for a simple way to make a mask, I am happy to share how I personally make them. I have a pretty small face in general, so I prefer having my homemade ones so they fit better. This is also a great alternative to just throwing away any clothes! Before starting, you will need to make sure you have fabric, thread, a needle, and pins; if you have a sewing machine, you obviously could use that instead of hand sewing it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

6 Ways To Handle The Stress Of Earning Your Degree From Your Childhood Bedroom

Oh so this was the room where I snuck cookies upstairs past my bedtime and stole R-Rated movies to watch when my parents were asleep and now I'm expected to earn my degree in this very same room?

5536
Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

It's definitely not easy, but it's something so many kids are struggling with right now.

Keep Reading... Show less

November is such an underrated month. With all the excitement that comes with Halloween ending and the holiday season around the corner, some people skip over it and go straight to their Christmas playlist. For me though, November is the perfect time to compile a playlist of songs that bring on major nostalgia which I think is perfect for this time of year. If you're looking for something to get you in that thankful spirit before you head into the Christmas spirit or something to play while you enjoy Friendsgiving, here are some go-to songs to add to your November playlist.

Keep Reading... Show less

Taylor Swift is famous for her Easter eggs on social media that hint at what is coming next for her. Over the past few days, fans noticed a change in Swift's hair when she was accepting her win as Apple's songwriter of the year that was reminiscent of the "Red" era. Of course, this has caused widespread speculation that Swift has begun to re-record her masters.

Keep Reading... Show less

While joyful, the holiday season can also be stressful for many and that's A-O.K. Plus, with the added tension that is 2020, this year's holiday season is a lot, to put it simply.

This is your reminder to put yourself first and listen to what you're yearning for. Deep down, you know what you need to thrive and I know that you can get there.

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

25 'Open When' Topics And Ideas For That Special Someone In Your Life

Open When Letters are letters you can give to your special someone.

1441
Lauren McCally

Stuck on what to get the person you love the most?

And, well, let's be honest, is hard to shop for? Well then, why not send them some Open When Letters?

Keep Reading... Show less

My obsession with country music is easily one of my best personality traits.

I've grown up on country music, and it's always been a huge part of my life. I remember the day that my mom bought me my first country CD. Since that day, I've been hooked. I still watch the Country Music Awards faithfully each year. My fun fact for syllabus week is almost always related to my love of country music.

Keep Reading... Show less
Adulting

Meet My Cat, Neville, Who Lives In Pennsylvania

Neville is just under two years old and is the snuggliest kitten you will ever met.

787

Neville is a Balinese cat I've had since he was 14 weeks old. He loves being carried around and spoiled. But most importantly, he loves nose boops.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments