32 Thoughts You Have On A Girls' Night Out When You're NOT Drinking, Not Even A Sip

32 Thoughts You Have On A Girls' Night Out When You're NOT Drinking, Not Even A Sip

Did I really need those mozzarella sticks at 1:30 a.m.? At the time, heck yes. But it's because alcohol is the monkey on my back telling me to spend all the money on all the fried food and all the drinks.
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I like drinking. I looove drinking. I enjoy it occasionally, but my bank account doesn’t feel the same way.

I'm realizing that a night out drinking is like watching your money circle and get sucked down the drain. Too many mornings have I woken up to realize that I'm 80 dollars poorer than I was the day before.

Alcohol is the monkey on my back telling me to spend all that money on all the fried food and all the drinks. At 25, I am having trouble rationalizing anything that monkey tells me anymore. I think they call that growth?

I've been fortunate to be able to sew a lot of my wild oats while I've been young, but I have come to a point in my life where I'm tired of being broke.

So, I've cut everything. No retail therapy, no Starbucks. No unnecessary spending. And it's worked. I find myself stressing less about money and being more mindful about what I purchase.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy nights out, they're cheaper than actual therapy, but something had to give. So, unwilling to give up my youthful desire to socialize in this way just yet I compromised with myself. I said, "self, you go out and you go out hard, but no drinking. I don't even want you to even so much as touch your wallet all night."

And you know what? I did it. Pretty successfully, I might add.

Now, if you've ever gone on a night out with no intention of drinking you know that you immediately notice things that your drunk brain typically ignores. Without further adieu, here are the 32 thoughts you have while riding the sober train at the bar.

1. Wow, I can do this, I can actually be sober at a bar.

2. Ugh, do I look act like that when I'm drunk?

3. Water is a great alternative to booze, I feel so healthy!

4. A lemon in my water? Don't mind if I do! Give me all the antioxidants.



5. Wow, is it really 9 o'clock? Didn't we get here like an hour ago, sheesh I'm tired.



6. Oh boy here we go, what does this drunk a**hole have to say.



7. Go away go away go away.

8. Ugh. Thank god he left.

9. I need a drink.

10. No, no you don't. You can do this.

11. No, I can't.

12. Water, drink your water.

13. Ah, refreshing.

14. I still want a drink.

15. Oh god, why do we come to karaoke... this is terrible.

16. They should make karaoke illegal unless you have a special license to sing.

17. Yeah! And professional singers can be the judge and decide whether you can be issued a Karaoke license.


18. Like the voice! Exactly like the voice.

19. Ugh. Adam Levine is so hot.

20. Is this supposed to be Eminem? Please stop. That's embarrassing.

21. God, drunk people are stupid. And bad at things. Stupid and bad at things.

22. Drunk guys are THE worst though.

23. I need a drink.

24. No I don't, need is a bad word, I don't NEED it. I want it.

25. OK, I WANT a drink. Better?

26. Ugh, can we just leave, that bouncer is really foxy and I'm afraid to talk to him sober.

27. Oh, thank god, it's the check.

28. I made it! Look at me not spending money.

29. And I'm so hydrated.

30. I feel like Wonder Woman.

31. I think I might even get up for the gym tomorrow.

32. Eh, maybe not.

Cover Image Credit: 123rf

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21 Lies College Students Tell Their Parents

I can almost guarantee that you have used at least five of these.

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Let's be honest. College is the best time of your life for a lot of reasons, and maybe you should not tell your mom all of them when she calls. I can almost guarantee that you have used at least five of these, and the others — maybe you should try next time!

1. "I can't talk now, I'm in the library."

Typically used when the student is too hungover to talk.

2. "Gotta go now, I'm walking into class."

Then hit play on Netflix.

3. "I think it might be food poisoning."

Was it the food, or all of that alcohol? Your symptoms sound more like a hangover to me.

4. "No, I didn't just wake up."

It is 4 p.m. and, yes, you did.

5. "I need more money for laundry and food."

Meaning, "I need more money for things I don't think you will give me money for."

6. "I never skip class!"

When we use this one, it usually does not refer to anything before 11 a.m.

7. "I studied all night for that test!"

If by "studied all night" you mean you watched TV shows in the library, then, yes, all night.

8. "Everyone failed that test."

And by everyone, I mean me and my friend who did not go to sleep until 3 a.m.

9. "I'm walking home from breakfast with my friends."

Yeah, OK. You are just lucky she cannot see last night's outfit and the high heels you are carrying. We know where you have been.

10. "Potbelly's is a restaurant."

I mean, they may sell tacos, but I'm not sure I would call it a restaurant.

11. "I go to Cantina's for the Nachos."

I hope that is not the only reason but, hey, you do you.

12. "The $40 charge on the card from last Saturday? That was for school supplies!"

Yeah, right. It was for a new dress.

13. "Nobody goes out on weeknights, especially not me."

We all know grades come first, right?

14. "I can't remember the last time I went out!"

Literally.

15. "I make my bed regularly"

About as often as I clean the bathroom.

16. "I did not say 'Margarita Monday,' I said I went to 'Margaret's on Monday'!"

Following the use of this lie, do not post any pictures on social media of you with a margarita.

17. "I use my meal plan, and eat in the dining hall all the time."

As you scarf down Chick-fil-A.

18. "I eat healthy!"

For those without a meal plan who have to grocery shop on their own, we all know you spend $2 on a 12-pack of Ramen noodles and the rest on a different kind of 12-pack.

19. "No, I don't have a fake ID."

OK, "John Smith," and where exactly in Wyoming are you from?

20. "I'm doing great in all of my classes."

We use this one because you cannot see our grades online, anymore.

21. "I did not wait until the last minute to start on this."

We all know that if you start a paper before 10 p.m. the night before it is due, you are doing something wrong.

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To My Fellow 20-Somethings Living For The Weekend, Wake Up And Grow Up!

And yes, I do mean from the naps that you "have" to take every day.

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It's been a few weeks since I've been in tune with myself to write something, but I've been seeing a recurring theme on social media that has really been upsetting me. I'm sure you've all seen it before, and you might be guilty of it yourself.

You're scrolling along on Instagram or Facebook when suddenly a picture sticks out to you from a person you're close to. The caption reads "Just wishing it was Friday already!" Or, "What I would give to be on vacation right now!" with a picture that looks like the .GIF below.

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If you're the two percent of people who haven't seen a post like this dead in the middle of winter, feel free to leave my article because this might not apply. For the rest of you that are probably rolling your eyes in agreement or might even be offended because you think I'm targeting you, continue on.

I get it. The weekend is nice, not having a metric ass ton of work to do can be nice, and dreaming of beach vacations is nice. But what purpose does it serve? Does it make you any happier to dream of the next Friday and weekend excursions to come? Bear with me here.

The weekend or your next vacation to come is something that we have all pondered at one time or another, and that's okay. However, people must understand that wishing for these "glorious" moments in our lives, whether it's as simple as binging Netflix on the weekend or as complex as a vacation in Aruba, rob us of our day-to-day happiness. How?

If you are living a life centered around this, it is merely a form of escapism that you are unaware of. Your desire to hit the town on a Friday night is natural. Wanting to do so because you hate school/work/what you're doing at the moment is a reflection of a much deeper lack of self-realization. What am I getting at here?

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I enjoy taking a vacation and having some lazy time just as much as anyone else. It's healthy to unplug from your day-to-day routine every now and again, especially if you are under a lot of stress. But wishing for the moments where you unplug from your routine means that you are incredibly unhappy either with yourself or what you do for a living. Trust me, I got defensive when I heard this for the first time, so if this unsettles you, listen to what I'm about to say.

What kind of life is worth living where your goal for the day is for 5:00 p.m. to come so you can go home, jump in bed, and take a nap? Naps are great, but naps don't inspire great ideas and fulfill your soul. I see college students that dread going to class every week, hate the classes they are in, write papers they don't want to write and take tests they don't want to take.

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On the outside looking in (as a college student who is almost done), is this how you want to live the rest of your life? As a 22-year-old now, I'm glad that the highlights of being 20 and 21 weren't me being out at the bar with my friends or spring break trips to the beach. I'm thankful that I wasn't so miserable with myself or with what I was learning in the classroom that I had to live for the Friday night to come, for darties to go to, and for ways to escape the "treachery" of a day-to-day routine.

I implore my peers now to take a long, hard look at themselves and to ask "Am I living for the weekend? Am I living to escape?" If there is any other answer than "no," there is work to be done and changes to be made. Happiness is being able to say "Yes, a vacation does sound nice. But I am incredibly blessed to do what I do every single day. I don't have it all figured out, but I'm happy to be where I am at now."

Growing up doesn't mean avoiding fun, or not enjoying a break every now and then. Growing up means finding fun and happiness in the ordinary.

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