32 Thoughts You Have On A Girls' Night Out When You're NOT Drinking, Not Even A Sip

32 Thoughts You Have On A Girls' Night Out When You're NOT Drinking, Not Even A Sip

Did I really need those mozzarella sticks at 1:30 a.m.? At the time, heck yes. But it's because alcohol is the monkey on my back telling me to spend all the money on all the fried food and all the drinks.

I like drinking. I looove drinking. I enjoy it occasionally, but my bank account doesn’t feel the same way.

I'm realizing that a night out drinking is like watching your money circle and get sucked down the drain. Too many mornings have I woken up to realize that I'm 80 dollars poorer than I was the day before.

Alcohol is the monkey on my back telling me to spend all that money on all the fried food and all the drinks. At 25, I am having trouble rationalizing anything that monkey tells me anymore. I think they call that growth?

I've been fortunate to be able to sew a lot of my wild oats while I've been young, but I have come to a point in my life where I'm tired of being broke.

So, I've cut everything. No retail therapy, no Starbucks. No unnecessary spending. And it's worked. I find myself stressing less about money and being more mindful about what I purchase.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy nights out, they're cheaper than actual therapy, but something had to give. So, unwilling to give up my youthful desire to socialize in this way just yet I compromised with myself. I said, "self, you go out and you go out hard, but no drinking. I don't even want you to even so much as touch your wallet all night."

And you know what? I did it. Pretty successfully, I might add.

Now, if you've ever gone on a night out with no intention of drinking you know that you immediately notice things that your drunk brain typically ignores. Without further adieu, here are the 32 thoughts you have while riding the sober train at the bar.

1. Wow, I can do this, I can actually be sober at a bar.

2. Ugh, do I look act like that when I'm drunk?

3. Water is a great alternative to booze, I feel so healthy!

4. A lemon in my water? Don't mind if I do! Give me all the antioxidants.

5. Wow, is it really 9 o'clock? Didn't we get here like an hour ago, sheesh I'm tired.

6. Oh boy here we go, what does this drunk a**hole have to say.

7. Go away go away go away.

8. Ugh. Thank god he left.

9. I need a drink.

10. No, no you don't. You can do this.

11. No, I can't.

12. Water, drink your water.

13. Ah, refreshing.

14. I still want a drink.

15. Oh god, why do we come to karaoke... this is terrible.

16. They should make karaoke illegal unless you have a special license to sing.

17. Yeah! And professional singers can be the judge and decide whether you can be issued a Karaoke license.

18. Like the voice! Exactly like the voice.

19. Ugh. Adam Levine is so hot.

20. Is this supposed to be Eminem? Please stop. That's embarrassing.

21. God, drunk people are stupid. And bad at things. Stupid and bad at things.

22. Drunk guys are THE worst though.

23. I need a drink.

24. No I don't, need is a bad word, I don't NEED it. I want it.

25. OK, I WANT a drink. Better?

26. Ugh, can we just leave, that bouncer is really foxy and I'm afraid to talk to him sober.

27. Oh, thank god, it's the check.

28. I made it! Look at me not spending money.

29. And I'm so hydrated.

30. I feel like Wonder Woman.

31. I think I might even get up for the gym tomorrow.

32. Eh, maybe not.

Cover Image Credit: 123rf

Popular Right Now

10 Abnormally Normal Things About College

Some stuff just doesn't fly in the real world.

College is a weird, weird place. For whatever reason, the young adults who are supposed to be cultivating their minds with all of the worldly knowledge available to them, seem to get away with quite a bit using the justification "it's college." Even the best students live abnormally while on the alien planet that is a university. So, while to us college students it may just seem like another day, here are ten things that are only normal in college.

1. Straight up theft.

In the future, if I walk into my forty-something-year-old neighbor's home and see a collection of stolen signs, stuff from the local restaurant, and property from the construction site down the road, I would definitely be concerned about the character of my neighbor. However, in college, people proudly display campus signs, traffic cones, or dining hall napkin dispensers that they have impressively commandeered - it's a cheap decoration and a great conversation starter.

2. All-nighters.

Maybe with the exception of parents of little babies, very few people willingly stay up for close to 24 hours on end. In the real world, if a friend came to you and said that they literally did not sleep the previous night, it's completely logical to be worried. On the other hand, when a friend in college says that he was up all night you laugh a little, give him an understanding pat on the back, and walk with him to the coffee line.

3. Atrocious eating habits.

Sometimes you don't have time to eat. Sometimes you order pizza at 2 in the morning. Sometimes you eat three dinners. Sometimes you diet. All I can say, is thank goodness that our metabolisms are decently high at this age.

4. Breaking and entering.

In high school, you hopefully knew everyone who entered your home. After college, hopefully, that's still the case. However, when you live in the middle of thousands of bored college students, people knock at your door, walk into parties, cut through your yard, and stop by without invitation or hesitation. It keeps life fun, but still not normal.

5. Calling mom when stuff goes down.

I really doubt a time will ever come that I don't need to call my mom for guidance on how to do something. But, hopefully the frequency of those calls with go down a little bit post-graduation. Maybe after four years of doing it on my own, I'll know how to fill out government forms, cook real dinners, and get stains out. But for now, I'm going to keep calling while I still can without seeming totally pathetic.

6. Being intoxicated at weird times.

Drunk at noon on a Friday is the quintessence of an alcoholic at any time - unless it's college. Not that this is necessarily a good thing, and it certainly doesn't apply to everyone, but there aren't many other places where people would instantly assume someone is intoxicated if they're acting even a little weird. I've even seen people drink in the library....

7. The messed up dating scene.

There are people who meet the love of their life at college and live happily ever after. They are people who meet the supposed love of their life at college and never talk to them again after Sunday. There are people who use Tinder. Hormones are high, freedom is bountiful, and football players are cute - what else needs to be said?

8. A warped sense of time.

The career I'm pursuing will require me to be at work by 7 am, five days a week. I am fully aware of this. Now, will I enroll in an 8 am next semester? Absolutely not - I'm not a demon. In college, nights often start at 10 p.m., dinners are eaten at 4, and mornings can begin anywhere from 8 to 2. We don't get that whole 9-5 idea.

9. Costumes... for no apparent reason.

High schoolers have a dress code. Adults have dignity. College students have fun. Here, people will wear a corn costume to get on ESPN, a fanny pack to get into a fraternity, or a tutu to match a theme party. Is it actually a weird thing, though? No one even blinks an eye.

10. Insanely close friends.

Name another point in your life when you live with your friends, study with your friends, drive with your friends, eat with your friends, go out with your friends, and even grocery shop with your friends. I'll wait. At college, it's easy for friends to seem like family because you're with them constantly. Love it or hate it, it's weird about college.

So, enjoy this weirdness while you can - it won't last forever!


Uncensored Roommate Confessions!

Cover Image Credit: Matthew Kupfer

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

College Party 'Ratios' Are Sexist Discrimination Against Men, Change My Mind

For every guy who wants to go to a party, he needs four or five girls to accompany him.


I'm sure at least every college student has at least been to a party once — or they've tried to. I'm a first-year female, and I've been to a few parties. I don't necessarily like them, but free drinks and good music can rope anyone in. There's also the fact that females can get into these parties with NO hassle. You have a group of 10 girls? No problem. Three girls? Step right up. Even if you're all alone, you can get in anywhere as long as you're a female.

But if you're a male? Good luck, you're most likely not going to get in.

Before I came to college, I didn't understand what "ratios" were. I mean, of course, I know what an actual ratio is in mathematical terms, but a party ratio is a little different.

It's also very very sexist.

Most parties put out a ratio when the addresses come out. They'll usually be something like 1:4 or 1:5. This actually means, that for every guy who wants to go to a party, he needs four or five girls to accompany him. Simply preparing for that and gathering girls itself is hard. Especially because if you're a male and you want your male best friend to come with you, both of you need about eight or 10 girls COMBINED. Isn't that a little too much?

Last week, my roommate dragged me out of bed to go to a party because I'd been working all week. I agreed only because the weather was somewhat okay. We went with a couple from our residence hall, one other female, and two other guys. So a total of four girls, and three guys. Obviously not good for ratios at all. When we got to the party, we found out that not only was the ratio 1:5, but a dude had to pay $5 for EVERY MISSING GIRL. So we all split up to get in, and it was me and one of the guys as a "group." They let me in, but the guy with me had to pay $15 dollars out of pocket.

And the party was a**!

What really inspired me to write this article, was when he said, "I feel really bad about paying $15 for this. I work at a grocery store and I only make money doing that, so this is really painful."

To be honest, I was pretty mad. I would never put down that much money for a stupid party. But what do you do if you're a guy and don't have a ratio? You pay.

We're always talking about the feminist movement and how men have more than females, but is this really any better?

Parties just want females for clout. Males are overshadowed. Why should only guys have to pay to get in? When asked, the answer comes down to covering the costs assumed for throwing the party. The fraternities need to cover for their drinks and any decorations, so they use this money to do so. But not every male who pays to get in drinks. So why not just let people in and then make them pay for each drink they have? It's not sexist and it makes everyone responsible for THEIR actions.

A guy shouldn't have to pay $15 so a bunch of girls can drink free alcohol. Parties should make everyone pay to get in. Anywhere from $2-$5 per person is more than enough to cover costs. Ostracizing males from females in this matter isn't trying to achieve a more equal future for anyone. It's backward, sexist, extremely segregating, and it needs to stop.

Change my mind.

Related Content

Facebook Comments