"But I love him mom. And he loves me." That might be true. But he wants to control you. He wants every ounce of you to be his. That's not love.
"But, he knows whats best for me. He's done these things before." What, you mean dictate the life of the girls he saw before you?
"He treats we mell. He buys me things and he takes me places." Buying someones love and affection isn't a relationship. He's bribing you to love him. If you're going to love him, love him for him and not because he buys you things.
"He told me he thinks I'm beautiful and wants me to send him pictures." He probably does love your body. I hope he does and you do too. Do not let a boy force you to send him photos.
"He won't send them to anyone. I know him. He loves me too much to do that." Do not send them if you are not comfortable. If you think there is a chance that he will send them to some of his friends, don't send them.
"He wants me to stay home when I go to college. He doesn't think he could handle being away from me. Plus he thinks I'll get a better education here." He wants to keep an eye on you. He wants to make sure you stay his. He's keeping you close.
Ladies, please please please understand that: No means no, yes means yes and EVERYBODY has the right to change their minds.
Nine months. Nine long, hard, strenuous months I spent thinking that my ex-boyfriend was the world. I spent nine months wondering how I got so lucky to get such a loving boyfriend.
Guess what. I wasn't lucky.
What I thought was a good boyfriend, turned out to be one who, while he did seem to love me, he loved controlling me more.
What I thought to be a loving boyfriend was a boyfriend who wanted me to be exactly how he wanted me to be.
What I thought was a boyfriend who was playfully jealous of a member from a certain Australian-based pop rock/punk band turned out to be a boyfriend who was actually jealous of said member from said famous band because he called me pretty in passing that one time.
Guess which band I was never allowed to listen to in his car again.
Anyway.
As I was (and still am) making the transition to new schools, I was guilted into staying on Long Island. I will probably stay on Long Island, but that's besides the point. What is the point is that I almost let some guy decide my future for me.
You, young ladies, are your own person. By law you belong to your parents until the age of 18 in most states (you can check your state here to see if it is different.) But after that, you belong to you. Even before that, your bodies belong to you.
Your body is for you. Your mind is for you. Everything you do in your life will be for you. It won't be for him or her or your best friend or your mom or your cousin or the oh-so-cute lifeguard from the pool on your vacation in Florida. You are here for you.
Do yourselves a favor and remember that you don't need a man (or woman. You do you, you'll be loved either way) to be successful. What you need in life to be successful is yourself. Motivate yourself and push forward.
You, while you love your significant other, are a beautiful butterfly that needs to not be held down. Do not let anyone hold you back. Always remember these next two things. In the wise words of Jacob Michael Whitesides "you break the rules of beautiful." And, in the wise words of Shane Steven Harper: "Girl, you got that power."
Live free and make yourself proud, my loves.
