As a young woman in her early twenties I face all the same situations all early twenty something year olds face such as finishing school, establishing a career, and just regular daily issues of trying to survive. However I have notice one difference that men don't have to deal with compared to us women, and that is this intangible need to be in a relationship.
As women, or humans in general, we all have the need to want to receive and give love. It is a scientific fact that's been proven by many renowned sociologists. What I can't quite understand is the excessive pressure that women face to obtain this love in the form of a romantic partnership at such a young age. Being a young woman and also having peers who are around my age, one of our biggest issues are men. I have to admit that I myself have fallen victim to the stereotypical, "I want or need a man to truly be happy type feeling."
Please don't mistake my remarks as being pessimistic about love cause this is not the case. I do aspire to love and be in a beautiful love, caring and supporting relationship one day, I just don’t see the rush. When did wanting a man become such a strong need that it's something of a validation of who we are as women? As I thought back on the things that could have potentially influenced and forced us to accept the societal pressure to be in a romantic relationship so young, I realized everything around us promoted the need for love. From fairytale stories as young girls, to movies, music, and even magazines, society glorifies the idea of being in a relationship with a man so much that it's all we women see.
The pressure even transferred over into our families. There are numerous amounts of times where I have been asked the condescending question of " Do you have a boyfriend", and of course when I respond with a firm "no" it’s the oh so pitiful I feel bad for you response of "Wow you're too pretty to not have a boyfriend." I don’t understand why it never occurred to anyone that maybe I don’t want to be with anyone right now. Maybe life is already hard enough just trying to figure myself out. All this added pressure to be loved by a man has made so many women, including myself, search for something we might not necessarily need right now.
Why at 21 is there so much pressure to have dedicated myself to someone else. I can barely at times support myself and figure out the things that I need to get through a day and now on top of it all I have to find a man. Whatever happened to being independent? Whatever happened to glorifying a woman for doing what she wants when she wants to without a man’s approval? I mean it is 2016 and the consistent single shaming has to end. Being in a relationship is beautiful but not necessary, at least not right now it's not. Being in your twenties should be the most care-free risk taking moments in your life. For most of us it might be the only time in our lives where we can truly be selfish and have the ability to exert our independence without thinking of others. But yet the ones who do take this opportunity and use it to their advantage they're shamed and pressured into dating just to do it, just to say they have someone.
Maybe it is time for society to accept that maybe, just maybe, all girls don’t want to be loved. Some girls just enjoy being young wild and free and why shouldn’t they? Why can’t I be proud of being alone and being all about me all the time. Heck, who knows if I will ever get this chance to be this way again. Sometimes after a long day the idea of coming home to my nice warm bed and not a man actually excites me and I am done feeling bad for it. So it is about time we commend all women who have chosen to be single and be proud of it because being without a significant other is not and will never be the end of the world.
