All around my campus and on social media there are a lot of “relationship goals”. Seen in the couple that works out together and the boyfriend who takes care of his girl when she’s sick. From the cute anniversary dates to proposals, it’s really tempting to feel like a certain better quality of life and identity come from a relationship. This is my encouragement to girls: don’t wait for someone to complete you.

Don’t wait to go to the gym until you have a guy to show you what to do. Get on bodybuilding.com, get on YouTube, get on Pinterest, ask your brother and your friends. Go and get in shape, do what’s healthy for you and establish these habits before you get in a relationship.

Don’t wait to learn how to cook until you’re married and cooking for your husband. Go take a cooking class, learn how to make a killer lasagna. Learn how to make French toast with just the right amount of cinnamon. Learn how to bake a cake and decorate it. Even if a guy never enters the picture, these skills are valuable and will be useful no matter your life situation.

Don’t ignore friendships while looking for a relationship. First, find a group of girl friends who will encourage you, laugh with you and laugh at you sometimes. Next, find friends who are guys. Learn how to interact without having the pressure of a relationship. Maybe one of these friends will be a relationship later down the road, but that is not the end goal.

Learn from those who have gone before you. Don’t wait to learn about conflict resolution and compromise until you’re screaming at your boyfriend over a messed-up Starbucks order. Watch your parents and your older friends. See how they let go of their agendas in order to keep the peace. Ask them their advice and really listen to the answer.

Don’t wait to learn confidence until you have a hot guy on your arm. Find clothes that make you sparkle. Take the time to know yourself and the things that you enjoy. Find your interests and passions. Learn what you’re good at. Invest time in new skills. Polish your existing skills. Become comfortable with who you are before anyone else enters the picture.

Don’t wait to get close with God until you have a godly guy to lead you to Him. Take time out of life and be alone with your maker. Learn how to surrender your plans now. Learn how to hear His voice in the silence. Learn how you wrestle with God. Invest time in that relationship, because a boyfriend is optional. A relationship with God will complete you in ways that no boy can.

Girls: you are not a half, you aren’t someone’s better or worse half. Become the person that you are. Don’t settle for an identity so intertwined with someone else’s that you don’t know who you are without them. Be single now and make it productive. Don’t wait for relationship goals, become someone in your own right. Anyone else is just a complement.