College brings so many changes to your life. Many of these changes are sporadic and unexpected. More often than not, these changes can be a series of unfortunate events but most importantly they are ALL learning experiences. Whether fortunate or unfortunate, what matters is how you respond and adapt to these changes. Focus on what you have to gain from it, rather than the things you will be forced to give up. In life you are either a passenger or a pilot. It's your choice. This five part series will let you in on all the unexpected secrets you while learn over the course of your college career. You may not see it today or tomorrow, but in a few years you will look back and be amazed by how every little thing added up to a big thing.
Part 1: Personal Realizations: how college life lessons usher you into your true self.
1. You suddenly come to the realization that the world doesn't revolve around you
Shocked and appalled. I know. I'm still learning to cope with this notion. You can't tell me that the first 18 years of my life, when my birthdays were mini holidays and everything went my way; were all some sick cruel joke, a joke I'm still not the slightest bit amused by. Assuming that the world spins on its axis,for your benefit is the quickest way to make your life unnecessarily hard and difficult. Once you drop the idea, you pick up a few great qualities. You become more comfortable trying new things, you become more open and understanding of others, and you know how to deal with criticism and negativity more effectively.
2. You have lost your "know-it-all" attitude, because you know NOTHING!
Discouraging? Yes.
Sidebar: this is also the time in life you realize, your parents were right... About everything and you were too stubborn to listen (don't tell my parents about this confession).
Joseph Conrad once said, " the mind of man is capable of anything." College teaches you things you never knew, and reteaches you the things you thought you were so sure of. Never stop learning. Gain knowledge inside and outside of the classroom. Learn as you go, gather knowledge that you will not be tested on. Don't be in a rush to figure everything out. Let your life surprise you.
3. It's totally acceptable to be proud of your accomplishments.
We've been bogged down with the notion that too much pride can kill us. But maybe too little of it has the same result. You are hard enough on yourself and you adorn the title of your own worst critic, but that doesn't mean you can't be your own biggest fan as well. Take a moment to give yourself a pat on the back. You've worked so hard to become who you are, it's ok to be proud of that.
4. Don't you ever get too comfortable.
Don't be afraid of change. Be afraid of staying the same. Only growth. Only forward. You have accomplished a lot, but satisfaction is not your crown to wear just yet. You have got to climb higher, reach new peaks. You have a hunger inside of you, it's unfathomable. When you aren't working someone else is and they are coming for your spot. Out compete the person you were yesterday.
5. You are responsible for what happens to you.
You are old enough to make your own decisions. You are also responsible for the consequences that come with those decisions. You are responsible for how you act, no matter how you feel. It is your personal approach that creates the climate for every situation you are in. What you put into the world comes back to you tenfold, and at the end of the day, don't play victim to the circumstances you created.
6. You need to be selective in your battles.
Everything does not require a reaction from you, nor does it deserve one. This is the true mark of maturity, knowing when to walk away and knowing when to stand your ground. Also be mindful of the things that weigh you down, more often than not, they are not your problems to carry. Know when to try harder and when to walk away.
7. Don't ever have too much pride to ask for help.
Seeking help can provide you with the instruction you need to perfect your craft. It has been said that, "you get in life what you have the courage to ask for." You can't handle pressure on your own, so stop trying to carry boulders by yourself.
8. You have been loved from the very beginning of your existence.
That love is within. Allow it to mold you and direct your life. Your primary relationship is with yourself. When you love yourself you automatically receive the love and appreciation you desire from others. Do everything with love in your heart. And don't just love, love from the soul.
9. Admitting defeat does not make you weak.
Weakness is the response of negativity. You will never be weak if you respond to everything positively. Appreciate where you are in your process, even if it's not where you want to be. Success doesn't come easy, your dreams will not be handed to you on a silver platter. But how many success stories do you need to hear before you create your own? Pay no mind to the fear of failure. You can still do anything. You can change your mind, you can even start all over. Our generation is full of potential and destined for greatness but stunted by the need for instant gratification; steer clear of this, YOU do not need the approval of others to measure your level of success. Never lose the sense of possibility.
10. Don't you dare shrink yourself for someone else's comfort.
Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. Do not become small because those around you refuse to grow. You scare people when you are whole all by yourself.
One day at a time - this is enough. Be easy. Take your time, eventually everything connects.
