I was 8 years old when I was told that girls do not play hockey. A boy in my class said it with such confidence... Was it true? Do girls not play hockey? All this time I thought I was playing hockey, but maybe I wasn’t… then what was I doing? It sure felt like hockey. It looked like hockey. Sounded like hockey. Smelled like hockey. We even called it hockey. I must have been wrong though… after all, girls do not play hockey.

I was 12 when I was told girls should not play hockey. By now I had realized that girls do, in fact, play hockey. But I learned that we shouldn’t. I learned that hockey is for boys, not for girls. I did not know this until a boy in my summer league yelled it at me from his team's bench as I skated by. I was not aware that I did not belong on that ice until he told me. I could keep up with the guys, sure my shot was not as hard and I wasn't as fast, but I thought I was doing well! I felt as though I could play hockey forever, but apparently I was wrong to feel that way, because girls shouldn’t play hockey.

I’m turning 20 next month and these memories are still so vivid. I can remember every time myself or one of my teammates was doubted simply because of our gender. I can remember every summer camp in which the girls were sent down the ice to work on a “modified” version of whatever drill the boys were doing. I remember being told to use lighter weights in the gym, and I remember feeling embarrassed whenever hockey was brought up in conversation, because I knew that I would receive twice the scepticism and half the credit as the boys who played hockey.

I should not have believed the boy in my class when he said “girl’s don’t play hockey", and I should not have believed the kid in my summer league who told me I “didn’t belong on the ice”, because we do play hockey and I did belong on that ice. I should not have felt embarrassed growing up to be a female hockey player. I should not have doubted myself because I am a girl, and neither should anybody else.